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Feb 2015
Do you know how it feels to hate yourself?
Every bit of your skin, laced with the burn of hatred.
A visit in the mirror, it makes you flinch
How can anyone love me, if I can't love myself?
Many potential lovers and friends,
Pushed away because of your own selfishness.
Some create scars on their skin,
Some force themselves to go without food.
Some are just a shell of themselves,
Pretending to be something they're not just to fit in.
Not comfortable in their skin,
Not comfortable anywhere.

Sometimes, you just want to hide under your blankets
And forget the world for a while.
My child, I feel your pain. I know your anger. Your angst. Your hate.
I am a servant to my own mind, to my own self-esteem.
I look in the mirror, and I see so many flaws.
Raccoon eyes, love handles, big hips, crazy hair.
We pick ourselves apart, until there is nothing left to love.
And because of this, we search for others to love us,
To fill the void that once was our own self-acceptance.
The saying is true, though.
To truly love another, you must first learn to love you.

Your insecurities will force you to push the one you love away
Until one day, they turn away and never come back.
What was once your happiness, is now your downfall
And you're even further gone than you were before.
But my dear, that is why I am writing to you.
Your raccoon eyes? While they are curable,
They're just a sign of the war with your mind.
Not getting enough sleep, working too hard,
You can do this. You can win.
Love handles?
It's only human to have some extra fat on your body.
Not everyone can be tight all over their body.
My struggle with body image has been a vicious one
But now I know, the one I love will love my body
No matter if it is round, or if it is flat.
Big hips? My dear it's genetic.
I used to hate mine, they made my thighs big.
Hips are bones, there is nothing you can do to fight it.
Hug yourself, and realize someday once you grow to accept it,
A guy will wrap his arms around them and cherish them just
as he cherishes you.
Crazy hair? Who doesn't have issues with that?
Throw it in a ponytail, in a braid.
Don't let those silly follicles define your mood.

Love yourself. You are worth it.
Every person in the world is beautiful.
Not everyone will be nice,
Not everyone will compliment you.
Some people thrive off of negative energy,
And will do anything to tear you down.
But my dear, there are many nice people out there as well
And as long as you look the other way to those who try to discourage you,
The nice people and their feedback will far outweigh the mean.

Beauty is in everyone,
Someday, this world will learn that.
But sometimes, you are all you have.
Be kind to yourself, and love yourself.
Look out for yourself first,
And someday, love will find you.
And when it happens, you will know how to love back.

Take it from me,
I've lost one too many from my insecurities,
And I promise, it will make you realize too late that your insecurities
and your battle with them,
Are nowhere near as important as the person you can potentially lose.
courtney elizabeth
Written by
courtney elizabeth  Milwaukee, WI
(Milwaukee, WI)   
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