I hide myself in the dark
close myself off to every feeling that threatens to grip me
play the silent awkward girl in the corner
breathe music as if it were the very thing keeping me alive

love, a thing only found in books
dreams always flitting around the edges of my thoughts
like phantoms come to haunt my every waking moment,
stealing every thought
every desire written in a ratty journal
my personality hidden within the pages of a book yet to be read
my story unfolding with each word on empty pages
my soul entwined with moonlit fire,
wolves howling sorrows to the full moon,
the wind whispering sweet secrets in the ears of those who listen,
caressing bare skin and messing hair as it darts around

I lost myself wondering the lonely paths between trees
paths that seemed to lead to nowhere
riddled with shadows and dark promises like Snow White’s toxic apple
the sweet sticky rays of dying moonlight clinging to my skin
and an arch of trees ahead seemingly harmless

I go around in circles never finding an end to the wall of trees
so deep in the dark I find no way out no light

I carve my own path and find myself hiding in the shadows
my eyes barely visible beneath the waterfall of hair I hide behind
my hands shake as he comes too close
my thoughts center around the only question my brain can manage
why does he come so close?
can he see me hiding in the shadows?
his interest in me scares me and yet I can’t help but let him come closer
and the closer he got the more terrified I became
yet I couldn’t seem to stop

My hands trembled but I couldn’t stop the excitement
couldn’t close my eyes to the only true warmth in what feels like ages
when I should have run back to the dark

You got so close to me that we nearly died
I wasn’t looking for you but you found me anyway
because of you I found my way out of the dark that always protected me

I never stepped out but you brought me to the edge
and for that I can’t seem to thank you enough but it came with a price
I can’t seem to get you out of my head
your eyes haunt my dreams but you’re so unreachable now a days
and I ache longing for those willful days

The days when you answered my calls,
when we talked all night until I fell asleep,
aching for the days when you would give anything to make me happy,
bringing me out of my protective shell so that you could see me
and now with you gone I can’t help but retreat once again