What is this that I feel Like drowning in life And living in dread? That when the words I am supposed to keep I give away? What is this that I feel Whenever I dont even Want to feel? That slices through it All, everything yet Means nothing? What is this that I feel When I dream it to Be a dream? But in truth it is A nightmare that I Cannot wake from? What is this that I feel Obliged to say I don't I don't care all, Even though I know Deep down that I do? What is this that I feel That I can't handle? That I want to forget? It chews at my my heart Threatening to beat to death And yet.. What is this that I feel?
Today is my birthday... And I don't know. I don't care. It's awful, but good.