if I were to attempt suicide today you wouldn't know what to say you'd sit there looking at me with a sad, disappointed kind of gaze trying not to look away Id tell you I was okay I would lie to make you leave even though all I wanted from the beggening was for someone to stay

I'm no one. my peers have made that clear. they've made me realize I'm **** up castaway. the only fear I have is that one day I will be alone. in an apartment with tinted windows and ***** clothes eating cereal out of the same bowl everyday until I get old. and die alone.

what's wrong is that I'm alone. in a home that's not home. I have money and some friends but no one to call my own. headphones and trains to lonely island. when no everyone's looking but blinded. by their own egos and iPhones. social media and alcohol. when I'm sitting behind my sheets crying. wondering what's real and what's a dream of the vivid fanticies I want to come true. who I want to be "you".