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Jan 2015
Although I never looked closely, there's something in the Bible about cutting off the hand that causes you to sin; tearing out the eye of the same nature and casting it off.
Have you heard of it, dear? Last I checked you were a non-denominational Christian.
So maybe you have, but you're too pretentious to say so. It was always like that with you: you left things out.
It's quite interesting. I stopped believing in God around the time that I met you.
Do you remember? Two years ago, the walk home, too many dandelions. They crawled up through cracks in the newly antiquated sidewalk. I couldn't focus and you were too focused--an antithetic situation.
You were my savior for a lot longer than you should have been.
There was a shrine to you inside of my mind, with 300 steps and stone pillars time hadn't been kind to. It was like an image from a textbook, but a little more fuzzy around the edges.
Hell, I think I prayed to you; you were just as absent as the God you believed in, so it was easy.
But you're just an man.
Maybe that's too strong, maybe
child would be more suitable.
And if you're human I am almost certain that I was at the other end of this spectrum of religious allusions; one of your demons, or maybe even all of them. I represented everything you couldn't control. I ate away at you; I was the devil on your back and under your eyelids.
I can't go away. You painted me as this sort of ugly creature and put it in plain sight, and though you never looked at that cursed painting, you cursed at it a lot.
I'll be ******.
But unlike you, I can always convert. You could disappear completely from me, washed away,
If I wanted you to.
And I did. I cut off the hand that caused me to sin,
I tore out the eye of mine that remembered
The veins in your hands, your bony hips
the curvature of your face, your lips
And I never saw them again.
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