the other night i had a realization that
the world sees only in
                                       black and white
i was filling out some "official government forms"
because the world runs on paperwork, paperwork, paperwork
they left me a space to fill out
             my gender
             my ***
my options were male or female
                               black or white
i don't want that because i'm not that
i am not black
i am not white
i am the grey space in between

i am proud of who i am
and want to shout it from the windows
and fill it out on my "official government forms"
that i fit in no simple category
that i am complicated -- a whole new beast
they want to claim and tame me
but won't name me the way i wish to be named
won't raise me
           look at me
           speak to me
                                 the way i know they should

they tell me that i am on one side or the other
when i walk in no man's land

i have to choose between the judgments
of an M or an F
when i am already fighting the stares and confused, questioning head tilts of strangers, family, friends because
i have found comfort in who i am
                        strength in my identity that defies the norms
and they still don't understand that
                                                        every day is a challenge
                                                        a new mountain to climb
because this world sees only in
                                        black and white