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Dec 2014
I. 'T is the Season
This is the time of year for pining and spleen,—
The season of boogers and snot,—the season of green;
And yet, because so well together blend
A piney green and rosy red, my friend,
Gift me your heart, and I will gift you mine:
Please, let me be your Christmas Valentine.

II. A Limited-time Offer
  Act now!  Don't delay!  For a limited time
Get in on a deal that's so good it's a crime!
Just dial our number, and put in your order
For cloying affection wrapped badly in rhyme!
It won't cost a penny; it won't cost a quarter;
It won't cost a nickel,—a dollar,—a dime;
There never was ever a wealthier deal:
It's something for nothing—a bonafide steal!

  And if you call now, as an "early bird" bonus
We'll kidnap (so nicely) the prettiest Jonas,
And make him forever a caged bird that sings
For the ears of his mistress alone of all things.

  So give us a call, and this all will be yours:
The Jonas in *******,—the scary affection.
Don't let this "early bird" be a songbird that snores:
Pick up your phone, and let's make a connection!
Call in right now!  You can dial us live
At 555-555-5555!
Knit Personality
Written by
Knit Personality
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