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Amy Oct 2021
I can’t sleep.
My mind stays awake, just talking and talking and talking, and talking!
She talks about everything, she talks about the past, the present, the future.
She says shes still in pain from the past, She says shes scared about what might happen later, she says the only goal in life is to leave home, but the thing is.. She doesn’t know what to do after.
She’s agitated, anxious, awoken.
The thoughts in my head keep me awake.
She doesn't want to stop talking, maybe she wants to talk to someone about those thoughts?
My teacher once told me, “If you have a lot of thoughts in your head and you cant sleep.. Then visualize a box. Pretend your putting your thoughts in that box. Then visualize you closing the box and locking it”
I tried it.. It worked. But that was a year ago.
And it got worse..my thoughts just end up overflowing, spilling everywhere, I start quickly picking them up to put it inside the box but they jump right out.
So.. I’m just there.
You know, looking at the ceiling, pretending there's stars.
I slowly close my eyes and try to fall asleep with my mind chattering keeping me awake.
Amy Oct 2021
“No, you don’t get it” I said.
My legs are aching, hurting, feels like there’s bruises all over.
I feel..numb
I feel hopeless
I feel like I’m everywhere.
I feel crazy.
I want to scream and yell and punch the walls.
But.. I don’t.
I just lay back down in bed, staring hopelessly at the wall with tears in my eyes. Then I fall asleep..I just gave up.
Amy Oct 2021
Grey clouds with a dark blue Greyish sky. Is it raining? No. As tears roll down my face. Where is everyone? “They left” someone whispered. I walked home. Alone.

Then one day butterfly’s were swarming around, white clouds with a big bright sun. Holding hands, smiling with happiness. Warm kisses. “I love you” He whispered. We walked home. Together.
Amy Jul 2021
I sat down on the table. I placed my art book and my pencil on the table. I grab my phone and I played music. As I draw while listening to music I felt goosebumps, I felt shivers down my spine, I felt cold, I felt sad, I felt.. alone..

I felt butterflies but bad ones.
Amy Jul 2021
I stood there waiting for my friends, but.. no one came.
It’s okay I said
Maybe their all really busy!
Next day at school I walked around by myself feeling isolated. I just talked to myself, I didn’t talk to anyone else.
I ate lunch by myself.
I walked to class by myself.
I talked to myself.
I hung out with myself.
I did everything by myself.
I realized I’m always going to be there for myself and no one else is..
Amy Jul 2021
I hear people laughing
I see people smiling
I see people hugging
I see people getting close
I feel lonely
I wish I had that I said.
I wish I had comfort.
I wish I had someone there for me.
I wish I was close with someone I said.
Sorry I can’t come to your birthday, they said.
Sorry I’m hanging out with someone else, they said.
Sorry I forgot, they said.
It’s okay, I said to everyone.
I’m okay, I said to everyone.
I mean.. I wish I was.
Amy Mar 2021
I’m tired..
My back hurts as if I fell off a sled and hit my spine on thick ice.
My legs feel numb as if there’s slugs ******* my blood..
I feel like if little kids were running around screaming, making my head hurt.
My eyes feel swollen like if I were crying all day.

“I’m tired” I said.
“Your just lazy” she said..  I fell asleep as my tears roll down my face.
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