I'm finally moving on,

At one point you were my world, beautiful and full of wonders.

But now you're becoming more of a memory.

I'll never forget you and the things I've done.

But now I can say I'm moving on.

I cant loose you too. Not you father, you are all I got left.
I hear you, breath heavy in the morning's, I see the traces of ***** still lingering on the toilet.
I weep every night. I love you more then my own life. This year has stripped me of everything.
They say god gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers, by now ill be invincible, fear no pain.
But I will always remember you as my own superman. Always there. Even when your gone.
You will always be with me. Always.
Ill soon be behind you dad, but ill take my time, make you proud of me.

They will not know when im gone, if they call or text and I dont reply they would simply think im busy, not dead. "No, he would never do that, he is such a happy man." No im not! I am not happy, I am capable to inflict such horror upon myself. They would drop to there knees and gasp as they saw my body. Maybe I didnt do it myself, maybe others did it to me. But the impact is all the same. Why does it take a death or a loss to awaken ones eyes. To truly see the beauty of ones soul, as it passes gentle and free through the room and out to the unknown. As judgmental eyes gaze upon the dead, speaking only of a waste of life this is, gone too soon, (tear after tear shed) BLAH BLAH BLAH! Enough! If you had any common sense you would know to cherish the life that stands before you. yes, iv made mistakes along the way but never anything like that! To cheat on you? With filth like that? Its a crime just to mutter the words! How dare you.
But. Nevertheless, what is done is done, if I go mad in the few short weeks, they would never know. Would you be at the crime scene? Or the funeral?

Going back
through our chats
a tight knot
a knot
tightening,
I choke
it wells up
inside
I hold
on to dear God
Mercy, mercy
pain
it hits
wave
forms
I drown, I drown
until
a poem comes
to save.

You yelled about my grades.
My fresh cuts,
My sleep schedule.
My eating habits and my
Mood.
But never once have you asked
Me.
Why,
My grades are slipping.
And you never asked
Why,
I took the blade to my skin.
I used to think it was because
You didn't care.
But now I know,
It's because you didn't want to hear me say,
It's your fault.