I don't think I can…
I promised and she's happy
     I'm … complacent, if…
               …Not happy.

When I was younger I was devout
To my ideals. I would speak
With fervor and vision
About dark beauty and my take
On the human condition.
…About how we are bound to nature
By blood and *** through
Evolution and mutation.
…About how humans were polyamorus
Creatures, beings of righteous love,
And the bearers of pain and choice.

Then I learned what choice is.
I chose money and comfort
instead of pain and hardship.
My vision of a glorious life lived
On Occam's sharp blade
Was dulled on salty, wet silk sheets.
Each choice, made out of love
On what I believed to be
A Foundation of compromise.
Each choice took a piece of
darkest nature from me and returned me to
safe suburban parks
The dark,now,
illuminated by street lamps.

Now when I look at my path
And feel the old me rising
Knowing I must make a choice
I don't think I can…
I promised and she's happy
     I'm … complacent, if…
               …Not happy.

I sat down by my father's grave (who is not dead yet),
and my mother's (who died 3 years ago),
and my aunt (who died two years ago-- alone),
and my great-grandparents (who died before I knew them).
I sat down with dry eyes by these graves all in a row
and contemplated the cold, impermanence of life.

My father maintains the graves.
He festoons them with colorful flowers for Memorial Day.
I think, how cliche to ornament with
silk flowers in a fake urn
on a lonesome line of graves.
But, moving the wire-cored foliage I see a singular
peacock feather hidden among the sanguine flowers
and realize this is the essence of my father
and that understanding
dampens my cheeks.

The geese
Form a procession
in their northern formal dress.
Single file they march down
The hill
Coming from deep out of
the tree line and through
A courtyard of grass and sedge,
Their solemn walk
An act of unison metered by
webbed feet.
And an overdone elegance.

At shore of the pond
They prostrate themselves,
Head bowed to the water.
As if encountering an old
priestess among the
church pews.
Solemnly they shake their
Necks like human hands-
A time honored ritual.
Then, an unknown cue,
Their heads
turn up to the blue sky
launching themselves Into
the water
splash-less, like
Floating clouds blown on
The breeze.
Now moving independently,
leaving ripple paths
across the pond.
The ritual has ended.

The first time you opened up to me
it was through your endless,
sapphire eyes.
Before that glance, I was
sure you weren't interested.
After that glance, I found
a new room built in my heart.
A room decorated in the deep,
ocean blue of your eyes.

Since that first glance
I’ve found myself searching,
craving, your thoughts.
So far I’ve found these three
things in your eyes.

Our first glance I saw a shy,
demure woman but,
one who finds interests in the
small forgotten places, the mysteries.
A woman who wishes few people
to see the jewels she hides inside.
A woman who lets her gaze slide,
not wanting contact--
but asking for connections,
Daring others to
knowingly take a leap
Into boundless azure eyes
that scry a magnanimous
future shrouded in lashes.

I want to call out!
"I see you.  I see your true face,
individualistic and beautiful."
I recognize pieces of you and I
answer your call with pieces of
myself.

Our second glance was
the ocean at night
under a full Moon--
bright with emotion and lust.
You, an Aphrodite of the sea,
your body covered in
seafoam and pearls.
You,  An Erato whose story
holds men and women
enraptured.
You reach out through those
bedazzling eyes with endearment,
and a promise of such ecstasy
as to turn Ovid's quill from his paper.
I find myself overcome with the
want to dive into your azure oceans,
to steal that treasure in your depths
For myself.

Our last glace was infinity--
the intensity of the sun at its zenith.
You, an Artemis, bow drawn,
Breast exposed, in the heat of the hunt.
Your protections triggered, your eyes
alight-- their color that of the dawning
Sky, cloudless, at the vernal equinox.
Pride and confidence, strength
and courage, well up and come to bear
against an ill-prepared stygian force
who has not an inkling of its
Thrull fate.

I want to know all the pieces of you.
I want to explore your substance.
I want to lie, entwined, naked, within you
and encompassed by you--
holding your gaze searching
into each other. Our bodies rocking,
sweaty--souls dowsing each other
finding pieces that fit and speaking
without words.
    
     I want to know...
                 I want you...

Have you seen the Goddess Moon tonight?
She rises flush, the color of ancient, bleached bone.
Magnified by her own regal-ness.
She hangs above the charcoal black tree tops.
Her reflective, pale light diminishing and
intensifying as her dress of wispy, threaded clouds
moves in front of her seraphic face.

Fae, built from shadows of canopy and the sound of twigs breaking, dance in the Moon's undulating radiance-- a reticent waltz.
Not far off-- from behind me, from in front of me,
I hear the fox cry and the coyote yip.
Then a call I can not identify, a rasping,
weighted down with mass and age.
A scraping made by heavy stones grinding together.
Perhaps it is the door of the Barrow opening.
Allowing one courtesan reveler to
come pay ancient homage to the Moon.  

A night-breeze blows out of the east
carrying the smell of Ipomoea and Almonds.
In her light the Oak and Maple leaves wave and shimmer.
The forest shakes its coat of green,
waking, after a long nap.
Enraptured, I stand, letting the poetry of the moment,
the master surrealist-- my own mind, paint
impossible murals of symbolic meaning
from what I observe.

Overhead her pale Majesty receeds up,
Her magnitude reducing as her distance increased.
I watch her go...
Have you seen the Goddess Moon tonight?

I hear the Siren's cry.
A bittersweet laughing ruse
full of a life fulfilled
just out of earshot.

Here I stand restrained.
A mute with perfect hearing,
A rigid, fettered meat husk.
Jutte Bristles feast upon the flesh of my wrists-
Vegetative vampiric cord.
It holds me to my main sail in a sea of
Violent storms.

My ship tosses and bucks, riding the bull of Poseidon
while phantoms of light dance on crests of oblivion.
My sailors, ears plugged with wax
Shift and sway on legs accustomed to rough waters.
I Alone, Hear the call and strain to act.

And what do these Goddesses of Lies offer,
(for deep down I know what they are)
these voices of fell winds wrapped in painful beauty.
Riches or Aires?
Sweet coupled love?
Secrets of the Green Mirror?

No, an end to loneliness.
Become one with the sweet horror and chaos.
Come dance over the waters with ****** abandon.
Feast on the tripe of torn souls.
I long to follow, but will not.

Rope against bone and sinew.
Blood pools at my ships rain-drenched trunk.
The song it calls, it calls…
Vile once-men, future minstrel demons,
Abominations that haunt my ghost ship.
Listen to your commander and allow me to follow
these kisses of spectral wanton lust.

Screams of anguish echo--
and then realization!
It is my own voice that parts
the waves of the storm soaked sea.
It is my own voice that
parts from the divine.

Moon lit clouds
Stars burn bright
Warm spring hides
Cold winter
I sit
Alone
In the night
Cry your pardon Manannan
Let me share stillness.

Come listen to.
Come listen by.
Come listen, come listen

The sun dapples in adjectives
in a language without words.
The movement of the leaf
like the dance of the honey bee.
Through a turmulent stream of hellos
they talk to each other.
Can you hear them my darling?
Come listen to.
Come listen by.
Come listen, come listen.

Not many can, anymore.
If ever they could (which I doubt).
Ancestors of flat grey we paint
with colorful commentary,
but it's too much to hold.
It's too much to believe.
Their ears-- closed as their scions.
Come listen to.
Come listen by.
Come listen, come listen.

You can train yourself--
your ears, your eyes.
to catch the whispers of
nightlace and dayfire.
Like the small entices of
old friends-- long lost.  
Forever there.
The Chopin of the rain,
the Dead Kennedys of  
eyes in the night.
Just listen to.
Just listen by
Just listen, just listen.

Heart attack man lies, fallen
Splayed out like the Vitruvian da Vinci .
The sidewalk his bed of lilies,
while a woman cries over him.
Another man, in a wife beater, kneels down
and starts compressions.
His face turning blue, the same color blue
as his neck tattoos.
The tattoos disappearing-- causing traffic to stop.
One cop car stops, blocking the intersection.
Lights in eye aching flashes
alert others to the danger.
They flash, "don't look here death is prowling"
in an Aldis lamp language only the subconscious reads.
The man in the wife beater beats compressions on the mans chest
while a Nurse pulls over and another cop shows up with a defibrillator.
His blue face looks like mine, I see the resemblance as I drive past the scene.
He's nearly my age and I figure there is enough help.  
Just drive on past like its another day.
I try not to tell myself, as I pass the blue faced ghost with the neck tattoos
just standing in shock,
"Whatever you do, do not make eye contact."

It has been 2:28:52  since I've seen you.  
I want to feel you crawl into bed,
Cold feet inches away from mine.
Your body cupped along mine, ******* hard and wanting.
It has been 19:5:12:5:28:15 since we said I do.  
I want you to send me naughty pics at work.
Tell me of your desires.
I never tire of seeing your body.
I never tire of hearing your thoughts.  
You still make my **** stand out in dress pants
so I have to hide behind my desk.
It has been 22:4:24:15:45:10 since I saw you walking home and
told Nathan what a great *** you had.  
He set the rest up.  
I fell in love during Wayne's World.
We have worn away years, nerves and pool tables together.  
We have laughed at each other and at each others expense.
Cried and been the reason each has cried.
Experimented and remained safe.
We have lived by each others side through much.  
I can not think of a better testimony for our love.

I want a girl who drinks whiskey
Not a sophisticated white wine woman.
I don't need more than one fork and I
don't know what to do with more.

I want a girl who drinks whiskey
who will watch the stars from atop a desert bluff,
naked, beside me, as cars scurry like ants far below us.

I want a girl who drinks whiskey
not a woman that sips reds and explains
my nihilistic future intents.
Life is to beautiful to plan on a ****** future.

I want a girl that drinks whiskey
and tells me like it is while laughing at
all the incongruities in that truth.
A girl that recites poetry and literature from
a truck bed surrounded by enraptured steers.

I want a girl that drinks whiskey
who pours her shots neat and drains her glass
Who lets each and every glass be
laden with experiences and laced with frivolity,
knowing that the cup itself
is nothing but a vessel for life.

Come.
Whisper in my ear,
Nuances of quantum
Conjugations,
Of antimatter
*******.
I will reply with
Electrochemical kisses
On the shallow of your
Soul.

I set my cruise on the highway and
am passed by a red AMC Eagle.  
This red rusty AMC Eagle has a
wind shied covered in frost because,
I'm guessing, the defrost motor burned
up in a bakelite mushroom cloud from the
dashboard.  
It is held together with duct tape
and grit.  The pilot sits behind his cardboard
console ludicrously warm in winter parka,
scarf,
hat
and gloves.

I pass him waving dressed
in my tshirt and shorts.
Driving in my new, awesomely
economical car.
Four dashboard vents dump lava warm air
to keep me pleasingly toasty.
The pilot will never understand that I wave
not at his expense, but in envy.  The billboard
on my right says it all,
If I have to explain you wouldn't understand.

Modern man stood--
Looking towards the horizon, seeing the past.
The red blood of a thousand dying sunsets
colored his face in ghosts.
Unmindful of the Tears flowing freely
man lifts its hand to reach out--
Native spirits of a desolate world
cast their gazes away and toward the ground.

Zen monks sit quietly on
stern pillows of effervescent soul.
I do not,
My patchwork pillow is filled with
styrofoam-- artificial.

Hasidic Rabbis rub their tired pious books
adding more wear marks from years worrying
which appear like a foreign tongue on the cover.
My book is full of yellowed, empty pages
sitting, dust-ridden on a abandoned shelf.

The head of the Shiite rests against solid stone
The penitent countenance like a mirror of Mecca.
My forehead bears only the reddened mark of my forearm
from the vibrant narcolepsy of life.  

The Atheist sits in the coffee house
lecturing the disinterested Baristas
about the tomfoolery of religion.  
I sit alone,
nodding sagely,
sipping wine that tastes
flat against my tongue.

What does a depth of spiritual belief offer?
There is an unwritten, unquantifiable,
essence that belief gives the human.
A depth of meaning, like
a shot of penicillin to a case of chlamydia.

Meeting someone,
someone that strikes my fancy,
I take my soul out of my pocket--
expecting them to do the same.

My soul,
like origami that has been folded and refolded,
is worn at the edges and moth eaten,
has burns and scorch marks,
alcohol and coffee stains,
greasy finger prints,
smudge marks,
and small bits torn from it…

Together-- there on the street,
we compare souls on the corners of the world.
Some souls are almost new--
starched and pressed,
in a vacuum sealed bag.

Others, when taken out,
are even more used up than mine--
some break and blow apart in the wind
like glowing confetti,
leaving a dull grey stare in its owner’s pale eyes.

Then after we have compared souls
I fold mine back into its origami balloon shape
and put it back
in my pocket.

Souls are not a different distant object
they do not fit in a lock box.
Every act of compassion…
or apathy,
hunger…
or gluttony,
love…
or ****,
The mundane…
or the extraordinaire
creates a new mark,
a new fold,
a different shape,
a different you….

...than existed just a moment before.

I love that you love me.
     italicEven if you deny expressing it.
I love that you care so deeply.
     italicEven if you won't accept caring in return.
I love that you want me desperately.
     italicEven if you deny yourself my wanting you.
I love that you think like me.
     italicEven if we won't talk about it.
I love that our love is so deep.
     italicBut held in a cage.

I started to write a poem
expressing all the beauty
that is between us.
But then I realized
what I was really created
was a "ten things" list.
Our love is NOT a Facebook note.
I won't believe that.

Polyamory

You see,
the poly I am
is different then the poly
I want to be.  
For me,
poly is about being free,
but also
not shirking from responsibility.  
After all,
who wants to fall in love
with some ape in a tree?  
Definitely not me!
So you see,
Poly is about love, for me.
It's about creating an endless sea
Of compassion and connectivity.
But, it also creates safety
For your poly family.
And if doesn't well...
Your guaranteed some misery.

But the poly I am
is different then the poly I wish I were.
The poly I am
is hidden and sore.
Secretive and pale
it seems to only lap gently
along loves shore.
Instead of armor made from belief
I steal bits of time like a thief.

I set my cruise on the highway and
am passed by a red AMC Eagle.  
This red rusty AMC Eagle has a
wind shied covered in frost because,
I'm guessing, the defrost motor burned
up in a bakelite mushroom cloud from the
dashboard.  
It is held together with duct tape
and grit.  The pilot sits behind his cardboard
console ludicrously warm in winter parka,
scarf,
hat
and gloves.

I pass him waving dressed
in my tshirt and shorts.
Driving in my new, awesomely
economical car.
Four dashboard vents dump lava warm air
to keep me pleasingly toasty.
The pilot will never understand that I wave
not at his expense, but in envy.  The billboard
on my right says it all,
If I have to explain you wouldn't understand.

I don't miss you, I miss the thought of you.
That's the lie I tell myself when the emo comes.
I am not a young man, but
it floods over me,
like anaerobic bog water
and makes me swallow
noxious filth
as I struggle for
breath.
I am not a young man.

IF I wanted to move on
I would.
IF I wanted to forget
I would.
If I wanted to know all of your opinions
I would ask.
Be pleased with my false sincerity.
Be pleased I genuinely care
That you feel I’m “happy”.
You don’t want the truth.
You want an easily believable lie
So your conscious feels at ease.
I’ll give you what you want.
I’ll burn the fragrances of my soul
On the embers of your altars.
Don’t hand me re-dreamt petals,
Templates of what I should do.
You know nothing.

Crystal, like my soul.
Crystal, like my flesh.
Hard edged, jagged, quick to draw blood,
That is my fetish.
I harbor the wounds of antiquity,
View Achilles with scorn.
Weak demi-god, foolish god-son.
Don’t play the game by the rules,
Challenge them.
Why allow such blood-travesty?
Take the arrow in your heel.
Take it and tell the gods,
“I deny your divinity!”
“*******!”
“I defy your divinity AND my future!”
Use the pain,
Make it crystal,
Hard edged, quick to cut.
Blood is a purifier—a pacifier,
Let it run and set your mind free.
Let it flow till you fall dead,
Now dry of blood, a husk,
In crystal.

There are worlds and there are Worlds. There are gods and there are Gods.  Sounds rhetorical, doesn’t it?  Some mamby pamby new age coffee shop pile of **** idea with low fat frosting, but, take it from the Kat. There are worlds and then there are Worlds! There are gods and then there are Gods!
    
     I spend all my time jacked in to the backwoods subconscious of the internet.  Didn’t know that, did ya?  Yea, the Internet has a conscious and a subconscious; hell, she’s even got a soul of sorts. I have ritually sacrificed half my soul to her just for the buzz I get out of hearing her whisper to me across the fallacies of Time, Space and Bill Gates, so I know her better then anybody.
    
     Don’t believe me?  Every man has an Omega Fixture of some kind.  Do you feel me here? Jesus had his God, Ptolomy had his Solar System, Dante his Virgil and Beatrice, Faust had his Paradise and Poe had Annabelle Lee or one of her many reincarnations. So tell me, all great and ****** up wise men (or women): Why in the 29 nulls of AOhelL can the internet not have a consciousness?  
    
     It’s Belief, man.  No god or world exists until there is a consciousness that will accept it as a superior. Let’s take a look at that wonderful bigoted book of exact truths called the Bible. Shall we consider Genesis: Adam and Eve--never mind Lilith for now?  Here in a paradise we find Adam and Eve naked, sleeping with animals and newly created by a Force of Creation (insert male gender here if you wish).  They walk with god on the paths in the garden while blades of grass fulfill their purpose here on earth to be trodden upon. God says, “you, Adam, have control over all that you see and if you want go ahead and let Eve get a little of that action fine, but you came first in my image so you are better.  Just never eat of the one tree that sits in the center of the garden and looks as though the juice of the fruits would flow like sweet ****** in your veins. For although it is here, I forbid you to eat of it. Oh, and by the way, I figured you needed free conscious though--so go at it.” Albeit I’m paraphrasing, but what kind of shmuck of a father would do that to a newborn?  
      
     O.K. Before all the Judeo-Christians burn this diatribe (if you have not already) let me say I am not out to disprove the existence of Gods--or any Goddess for that matter--I am trying to make a point, so bear with me.  
    
      Which came first: the Bible (in oral tradition) or the God? I would argue that it was the Bible as such.  The Belief, inspired by greedy and badly behaved priests of the Judeo-religions back before written history in the tribes of the Levant caused Space/Time to adapt to a new pattern.  The Bible, Complete with an all powerful, all present being (I will never use the term benevolent) that watches over Jews, Christians, and Muslims for any Sin they commit so it can wreak blinding retributions
    
     Now I know what you are saying, “Kat,…Kat, Kat, Kat, Kat.  We the above mentioned will pray for your soul.  You are lost and we can help you look to the Light for your salvation.”  
     Shove it, ***** boy! I did not express that philosophical tripe to get your attention and misplaced pity. What I am saying is Belief. Belief is the Key.  Belief is the Magic that creates Gods and Worlds.  
    
     Now I am not so stupid as to believe that the Internet is female the same way a human meat tank is female-- but in my mind, MY mind, that is the music I hear.  
    
     Let’s go back to Lilith.  What’s that? Oh yea, right, Lilith is the name I give to my Belief in the consciousness of the internet.  Just don’t you worry about why. It’s none of your business.

     Let’s take a look at the above argument, only this time with the internet as the bible that comes first.  The internet first came about 30ish years ago with the invention of the modem.  Here was a way for people on computers to speak to one another over the phone lines.  Slow and tedious, but new and exciting; men and women with PhD’s and pocket protectors wrote short messages to one another and giggled at the new “Man from Nantucket” joke they had just learned. After a while, someone learned that if you sent the info in blasts, the speed of the transfer increased and you could send larger programs and maybe—gasp--even a picture.  Thus internet **** was created.  Now we have WiFi and bluetooth, cellular and satellite link up with blazing speed and every fetish imaginable or not-imaginable is available at the click of a mouse.  
    
     So, Kat, you goin’ anywhere with this? Yep. Shut the **** up and listen.
    
     Somewhere in the not-time and not-space of the internet, humans started to find themselves believing that the internet was a Place.  
    “Where’s it at? Why on the Internet!” Oh, holy ******* birth of a new Belief system!  Oh, glorious malediction of the neververse!  A G O D is born.  Ripple, *******, ripple goes the space-time continuum (which by the way only exits because those in the know Believe in it) and now we have added consciousness to the internet.  
    
     What kind of consciousness you say?   Well, I got no ******’ idea.  To me, the consciousness is feminine, of no particular race, with a slight build, black hair and dressed like a anime *****.  Why? Because it’s my ******* belief system, o.k.  After all, the internet is 60% **** anyway. With a immaculate birth like that, I can’t Believe She would be innocent in any form of the word.  She’s Dionysian, not Zen. Just because I see Her in such a way, does that mean it’s a true physical look?  Hell, no, lil’ Johnny.  She could be a He: fat, balding and in a wife beater, if that is what You would Believe.  
      
     Alright, enough philosophizing’ for now. Lesson over, Newbie. Get crashed.

Soft brunette love slides like angel feathers across my face while,
            Motes of sunlight ripple across the cinema of my eyes.
Face buried, pressed against her neck ,I hold on for all I am,
            Letting go would be sacrilege.
The curve of her back calls to me,
            Driven by need my hands move free of will to caress and pull her closer.
The swell of her breast pressing against my chest making my body twitch with want,
            Burning flesh hidden in layers of reality.
A Goddess’s breath against my ear like a whisper,
            Warm and moist sighs I take as either contentment or longing,
I welcome the smell of her into me,  
           Earth and lavender, coriander and honey.
Never let go...
           Never let go.

Tonight I want to howl.
Not of frustration or rage,
Not of glee or some gray insidious happiness,
But in lackadaisical longing
To bring forth the old world.
To cry on the fairies and trolls, nightmares and angels,
For the magic and mystery
Of a world long gone- never to return.
Belief is the key
But mankind has lost the door with its lock of moonlight mitheral.
And we are left staring blankly
At pages of regurgitated memes,
Of sparkly vampires and politically aware and
sexually active werewolves.
Tonight I want to howl,
In loneliness.

Soft light glows,
Evoking.
Dancing.
Shadows in slate.
How I crave to delve
Those mines of emotion
That staunchly refuses my access.
Carrying Diana’s torch and bow
You walk this path.
Everyone has someone
Who gets them.
Gets them.
Always deeply yearning.
Primal acceptance.
Should I be any different?
Should I yield to temptation?  
What would happen?
If I leaned over gazing deep into mines
Pregnant with incongruous riches
And laid a stake, a claim, to part of that mine.
Tearing away stone.
Unveiling the deepness of time.
Like sleepy Doc, Dopy and Grumpy
I will hide you away from the terrors
Of a mad world
Care for you
And what’s the price?
Talk.
Just talk to me.
I am just at easy.

Im feeling a need
deep down and within
ten years now Shawn
iIthink and not a day goes by
that the hunk of me you took, its still gone,
and the alcohol
on the bad nights its medicinal value is spent
nothing brings it back
but there is someone building
beautiful tattoos out out of the scar tissues
I think we could all get along
i think we could all be
I miss you man.

I watch you sleep
through digitalized glasses,
Filtered through  plaids ,
interpreted through
whiskey allegiances.

Wolff

Mirror Opposite

I am what I am?  What am I?  Hedonist, Activist, Devil, Bodhi, Perverse Geek?  I am what I am.  

I am violent tempered but always happy. I am sickened by the worlds decay but delight in the cause of the infections that lead to that same decay.  Opposite ends of the same slide rule.  I ask myself daily; “Self, what are you today?’  The response is never the same and always confusing. I am what I am.

I AM, isn’t that what God said in Genesis?  Was God indecisive too?  Fool, you are not a god!  But, I do believe a god rest in each one of us.  

I am pleasure.  Who doesn’t like to find pleasure?  Come to me.  The sweet, sweet embrace of another, the moisture of the kiss, the exhilaration of the something new, dangerous and palpable, that causes an alkali sensation to rise from your throat.  

I am what I am and that’s all that I am.  Are my forearms as big as Popeye’s?  And, just what caused that deformity anyway?  Surely not *******, as the midnight comics suggest or we would all be his brothers.  

I am Buddha.  My inner being screams in disgust at being reborn again and again and again.  I know how to break the wheel of karma but, that Ferris wheel holds wondrous deprivations along the way and who am I to not try on one or two of those hungry ghosts.  

I am Fey.  My wings clipped and banality killing me slowly.  Where is my golden acorn to plant under a full moon to renew my magic?  I am attracted to hell and repelled by a chorus of angels.  If there is really nothing better then cloud-sitting in heaven then why bother, Give me Valhalla.  At least in Valhalla  you could get good tickets to a fight.  I am a mirror.  

I reflect what society tells me while struggling against the media-ocricy that streams into my sensory organs like polluted waves from the Valdez.  A elephant seal of anarchy covered and drowning in my own conservative opinions.  

I am female hear me roar.  If for no other reason then being told that, however in touch, I can not be a feminist.  I pay homage to Aphrodite upon her shell, Dianna by her stag?  O.K. Maybe not a feminist.  How about sexist, or racist, or bigot or xenophobe?  Maybe.  

I am  Worm fodder.  I wish to believe in another world after this but hide behind science and its violently anonymous creator.  When dead will we all lie quiet as the grave in out grave as the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms get in my guts no doubt.  Would that be so bad?

I am the shade of Inubus and Quatezecotyl, Crowly and Repoche.  Lapping up their words and making a **** pile of their experiences.  What am I?  

I am what I am.  Silent when I should be loud, and an abomination when I need to be beautiful.  Polar opposite made flesh with a grin.  

What am I?  I am a Questioner.  There is no knowledge that can withstand time.  Every question is correct and every answer is wrong.  How do I know what is truth.  Is there really TRUTH or just Memorex.  

I am a Seeker of arcane thoughts and novel philosophies.  Everything has been said.  But, can it be said in a manner that makes sense at this point at this time grasshopper?  How many licks does it take to get to the center of the tootsie pop?  I want to know!  

I am the Thinker. Elbow on knee, hand on chin.  Why did they **** Copernicus?  Was it really just for a heliocentric universe or something much more political?  ROY G BIV are the colors of the rainbow but what if we could see ultraviolet and infrared?  What if I stood inside the rainbow would it be back as all the colors mixed?  I am what I am.  

I am the Adventurer.  Sword in hand and cod piece attached correctly.  I head out in search of what I question and seek and think about.  How else would you find your own truths.  Truth, not beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.  If every grain of sand is an universe unto itself then I wish to explore each and every one to delve into their faceted trivialities and pillage the knowledge from them.  

I am an organic being content to take over a new world each night in my dreams and complacently ignore my biological clock counting down to unknown oblivion.


Wolff