I'm difficult
That's what they said
No argument, no reply
Nothing from me
Cause I know how much truth
Is in that phrase

But
I also know
What's behind this closed door
The reasons
For my bitterness
For my cold acts
For my troubled
And confused mind
Do they know?
I doubt it

Sure
I'm not the only one
Who's hurting
Who's breaking inside
Who's wishing for the angel of death
To come and take this life

Sure
I'm not the only one
I shouldn't moan
I shouldn't dwell
I shouldn't this
I shouldn't that
But you forgot something
The thing about pain is that
.
.
It demands to be felt

And you forgot another thing
I could only take so much on my shoulders
You forgot that
.
.
I'm only human being

So I'm sorry
If I'm not as strong as you
I'm sorry
I let all this put me down on my knees
I promise you
I will find the strength to go through this
Just not today
But
.
.
Someday
Somewhere

The night hasn't came yet
But the light, I barely see them
How did I get here?
In this long dark tunnel
Alone
And it's cold
I found myself
Wrapped with nothing
But misery
Wonder if I would ever be free?
But
Do I want to be free?
I don't know
I don't know what I want
I don't know what I'm searching for
Is it freedom? Is it love?
Are those the solutions
To my problems?
I'm surrounded by darkness
So darkness I became
At first I thought I needed
Just some time alone
But
I came to realise
That I need it way too often
I don't hate everyone
I don't hate this world either
I don't know
I just feel like by distancing myself
Everything feels much better
It's just that
Life is so cruel
One moment, I'm the happiest girl
The next second
I found myself crying to some sad songs
One moment, it was perfect
But you know what they said
Some things are
Just too good to be true
Again, I'm an emotional wreck
It's tiring
I gotta admit that
But if I gave up now
What have I gained?
Nothing, absolutely nothing
I know I have to move on
I know I have to keep moving forward
And I will
But not now
At this crucial moment
I need some time alone
So just let me be
And don't even bother to come search for me

Your eyes
They sparkle
And that smile
It lights up my whole world

Your mind
It wanders to a place
You've never been to
I've never been to
I'm so lucky
You brought me with you

I don't remember
Ever feeling this way
It's beautiful
Honest and pure
One of a kind
My dear

So what do you say?
Shall we embark on a new journey?
Build our home in this strange place
Make it our own
You and I
Together
In our own world

What do you say?

'When you love someone
You should set them free'
So I did
'When you love someone
You should never give up'
So I didn't
**** it
What the hell should I do really?

Should I let go now
Cause I believe
'Whats meant to be is meant to be?'
Or should I grab the chance
Cause it may only comes
'Once in a life time?'

I don't know
I really don't know
What is love anyway?
You tell me

'Follow your heart'
But heart always wants what it can't have
'Follow your gut feelings'
But what about my insecurities?

'You never lose by loving
You always lose by holding back'
I tore down my walls
I opened up the door
I opened up my heart
Still I lose anyway

"Love cannot be defined
You have to feel it with all your heart'
Is it love when you're suffocating?
Is it love when the feelings inside
Drive you insane?
Is it love when you think
About the other person all the time?
Is it love when every time you see them
Only thing you can do is smile?
Is that what you called love?

I don't know what love is
But I am willing to find out
Maybe I'll get lucky
Maybe that's what have been missing
In my life
Just maybe

I look into her eyes
I see pain
I see how broken she is
I see how lost she is
How she wanted to break free
From the sea of misery
How she wish for an undo button
How she long for a new life
A life without regrets
A new start
A new beginning

I look down to her lips
She wears a smile
She can fool anyone else
Let everybody knows how strong she is
But deep down
I know better
I know that
She's wearing a smile
That she doesn't even believe in

I know her too well
I want to remind her
That she's not who she was
This is not her
She should have been someone else
Someone better

She looks back at me
With emptiness inside her eyes
With her broken soul
Everything feels so familiar
Then it hit me
I'm only looking at the mirror