It's getting old;
these anecdotes
of grief and pain.
Solutions silenced
to entertain.
Yet who am I
to obstain
when 6 years ago
feels like yesterday.
Chasing echos of laughter
as you fade away
into our past;
into my future.
Older than you,
but born as your junior.
I'd let the wound heal,
but I'd rather tear out the sutures.
Dabbling with the same mentality
that turned you into a user.
Oh Brother,
Oh Brother,
I'm addicted to
my memories of you.
Pausing my cause
to reflect on your loss.
And I'm still here,
6 years later,
motionless in fear.
Trying to make sense,
while refusing to forget
what I can't quite remember.

What's left is what's underneath;
Living life between peaks of sanity.
Too lost to rediscover those thoughts;
In an instant, Humanity...

Facing backwards on this track of sunsets;
Straining to see the significance of each step.

How did I get here?

Chasing the scent of who I used to be;
Lacking definition, but I knew my meaning.
Change was imminent, yet I'd remain unique.
Now those days seem like the peak
of my potential.

A painful reminder of what I'll never know.

My present self resides
in the time between then and why.
Stuck in an infinite loop of what I didn't do;
The price to pay for a world without you.

Originally a trilogy,
this disbanded energy
effects my ability to see
beyond...

clear blue
peeking through
negative space
landscape
evergreen
wall of trees
keeps me
driving East

Stuck in the silence in between
my present self and a memory.
Desperately trying to create a hero
for a story that may never be told.

I can pinpoint the instant of uncertainty;
driving towards a fabricated persistency
just days after your final chapter.
Of course I was absorbed in my thereafter.

Despite all your failure, success, and fear;
in that moment you disappeared.
Leaving me to inherit your dismay;
a melancholy filter over the standard display.

A selfish thought towards a selfless love;
had two brothers, now I barely have one.
Constantly reminded of life’s impermanence
while searching for a perpetual state of purpose.

I knew you
before this world chewed through
your sense of self-worth
and swallowed;
Reminding you of the hollowness
inherit in this existence
as you hit each rib
on the way down.
Too proud to denounce
the things that made you this way.
Too gone to say
I’ll see you again.
Never thought I’d have to defend
my heart against
my Kin, my Brother, my Friend.