i dont think that icarus
wanted to boast
when he flew to the sun

i believe that, like most,
he chased things that burned.

even if it meant
his own wings.

because in the end
we all chase something
that we cant have

i went to rehab
in utah.

and they told me there,
that i would never amount
to anything.

i stayed for five months.

i tried to **** myself twice.

i scratched the sin off my arms
with my fingernails
in an attempt
to feel
in control.

they forced me
to walk
and walk
and walk.

they told me
that gay
was wrong.

i thought i signed up
for rehab?

i fell off my horse
and he trampled me.

they told me to **** it up

got yelled at for looking at someone
of the same gender
for
a little too long

they thought
he was the opposite ***.
because trans kids
"don't exist"

they didn't know
that we
passed notes.

and as i was forced
to renounce my ways

i fell harder into them
than i
had ever
been.

It felt
so optional
and yet
i lay in my bed
at one a.m
comparing
the american dream
to
modernism