Pauline Russell Nov 2017

Tears like rain, on her cheeks is found
They are always there, falling down

The sorrow is etched in lines on her face
Still she carries herself with beauty and grace

She's always there when someone is in need
Happy to help with every deed

Yet there she sits all alone
Not even a place to call her own

There's no hero for her to call
She feels like a little rag doll

Kicked to the side
A downward slide

cobwebs of memories are forming in her mind
Twisted and contorted she is now misaligned

She's coming undone, seams ripping apart
If only someone would give her their heart


©Pauline Russell

Pauline Russell Nov 2017

Red Rover, Red Rover
Is long ago over
As submachine guns are now slung over our children's shoulder

Hide and Go Seek
Is not for the meek
Now it's played by survivors or victims, the out look is bleak

London Bridge is Falling Down
Wouldn't actually hit the ground
But in today's reality there is probability to be found

War was played with cards
Now human life is of little regard
Open up your eyes, for war is now in  our backyards

©Pauline Russell

Pauline Russell Nov 2017

When I look in your eyes
I see the agony of a thousand goodbyes
The tears in your cries
I see the sadness of the wise

When I look in your eyes
I see the depth of love, it's no surprise
I see the twinkling of a thousand stars in the skies
I can see the moon rise

When I look in your eyes
I see the seasons turn, Autumn comes, summer dies
I see the death of year's, our slow demise
I agonize

When I look in your eyes
I sadly realize
One day we must part, there'll be no tears, no goodbyes
I'll just look into your eyes

©Pauline Russell

Pauline Russell Nov 2017

Give me my warm pajamas, my heart has been covered with snow
There are only lonely nights, no one to hold

Give me my warm pajamas, there's no one to hold
My bones are weary and so very cold

Give me my warm pajamas, my bones are cold
My heart is frozen over and growing old

Give me my warm pajamas,my heart is growing old
Winter has came, summer's been sold

Give me my warm pajamas, summer's been sold
With the hand of cards I've been dealt, I just want to fold

Give me my warm pajamas, I need to fold
In this world, I never fit it's mold

Give me my warm pajamas, I'll never fit the mold
By my past, my future has been foretold

My warm pajamas won't be why they find my body cold

©Pauline Russell

Pauline Russell Nov 2017

I'm hidden, shivering behind this curtain of rain
Seeing live through shades of pain
I'm so tired of listening to the sound of my tears
They've been falling for way to many years
In this life of mine, it never rains it only pours
In my head, the scarred battle ground of wars'
Of a million thoughts and memories
Trying desperately Pharmaceutical remedies
Only to discover there is no cure for my disease
Forced again and again to my knees

I use to pray to a distant faceless God
Religion preaching of His grand facade
But He too must be flawed
For I stand daily in front of His firing squad
Mental health continually erodes
Desperately waiting for a lull, as He reloads

Coal black darkness paints my life's canvas
As I watch yesterday's loss become today's madness
Wishing I could feel the firm hard dirt at the end of this hole
I fear it's bottomless, just like my soul

©Pauline Russell

Pauline Russell Oct 2017

Depression so deep
Only escape is sleep
Sleep conceals
All I feel
It steals away
Every day
Everythings gone wrong
Depression marches on

The dead keep dying
The birds quit flying
Sun no longer shining
Darkness keeps defying
Anguish always raining
Voices quietly crying
Mentally declining
Madness is smiling

Depression so deep
It's determined to keep
It all locked up tight
I'm shackled, can't fight
I'll never know, the why
So I close my eyes
Whisper a cry
Then wait to die

©Pauline Russell

Pauline Russell Sep 2017

Looking into the mirror, what do I see
Shadows crawling on the wall right behind me
Some would get a hell of a fright
Seeing such a sight
But I know they are just shadows cast
They linger for a while, but they never last

There's a shadow for what could of been
Before that first forced sin
There's a shadow of the past and what was supposed to be
Pieces of me stolen, never to become ME
There's a shadow of what there was
My sickness was the cause
There's a shadow of the present
My live still so very far from pleasant
There's a shadow of the future and what will soon come to be
At those I won't take a look, they're not for me to see

I like to see the shadows crawling on the ceiling
That means in my head, with them I'm not dealing
With all these shadows you can tell my life is dark
While swimming through the ashes, on the next life I embark

I keep trudging, struggling along
So the darkness to me alone belongs
Until the day I must, I don't want to pass them on

©Pauline Russell

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