outgoing?
I'd say outspoken
never been arbitrary
or overbearing-
just vocal

my passion runs deep
and pours out
excited
overflowing
when it finds
another soul to share it with

the energy
others direct towards me
I absorb
and like a mirror
reflect it back towards them

the energy
that rests inside me
is like water
waiting
for an outside force
to heat me up
excite
my molecules
or
to cool me down
mellow
the chaos inside me
making me stable
making me solid

if being an extrovert
makes me
popular and
domineering,
a fun-loving,
party animal
who lacks introspection,

tell me why
I always choose
to isolate myself

why
my few friends I do have
I keep at a distance
except when I force myself
to enjoy their company
once or twice
in a year

why
I am easily talked over
my words drowned out
ignored
like background noise
my input
apbrubtly halted
as others drive over it
making it no more
than the dust
their tires kick up
why I let them
talk over me
rather than raise my voice

why I would rather
read in solitude
than go to a party
or play a video game
rather than socialize
why
would I choose
to ponder existence
over
existing with others

extroverted
means I get my energy
from external events
rather than the internal

I am not a synonym
for gregariousness

I ask of you,
Forgiveness beyond any other
For as I stand,
Oppon this broken earth
I fear of my past
Of my present
And the future I throw away
For I have sinned
Red stains my hands
‘Defence is justified’
But is it really?
Yes, he sinned first,
But do I truly have the right?
To take one's life?
‘An eye for an eye’
A life for a life
But mine is unfit
*****...
Sick...
It does not hold value
In this broken world
Where little light escapes
So I ask you,
As I take the step
Am I worthy of forgiveness?
I took a life,
In order to keep a choice
A choice I would of saved for my one and only.
But does that choice mean as much as a life?
Yes I was scared
Yes I was attacked.
Yes he sinned first
But my crime weighs more
So I ask for you to listen
And forgive.
Not of me.
But of him.
For I have taken a choice from him.
As he was going to do of me.
But as he was going to take a choice of body.
I took his choice of life.
I am filthy
Tainted
I do not deserve your presence
But please.
As I give my choice of life
In place of his
To forgive him.
For he was lost
And alone.
Like we were  once
So as I take the step into the air
I thank you
For listening
And I hope
That one day
One will do the same for you
As you have done for me
So Thank You.