I used to keep myself out of sight
Shadows became friends far warmer than light
The outside world saw no more than a shell
While inside I was growing and preparing myself

Slowly I let the sun touch my skin
Allowing more eyes to look in
And see my heart beat freely
So I could begin becoming me

I broke through the walls, but not alone
People around me at every milestone
They held my hands and pulled me out
With their help I ended the blackout

Now a new life takes its place
As a new smile dances across my face
I stretch out my new wings so they can dry
So that one day - I can learn to fly

A girl sits on the worn out
Stone of an old staircase
Deeper in the middle from
Shoes gone by
She leans on the wall
By her side
With a smile on her face
And her eyes barely open
Air drifts in to her
Like she is a part of it
And with it she flows
Up from the cold stone
Out of the shadows
Across the town
The only one she knows
To find the eyes
That she spotted last night
Filled with ripples
And colour and light
And from the hazy shapes
She strained to see
She builds a person
Thin arms, thin waist
Hair half over one shoulder
And a smile,
Then a laugh which
Tickles her own lips
And makes her open her eyes

She stands and shakes her head
She must forget
Until she sees her again

Does all this really mean anything?
When so many others have said this all before
And in better ways with perfect form
And without repeating themselves
Again
And
Again

Will anyone but me look back and think
These cascades of words meant anything more important
Than just a student with too much time
And not enough energy?

Will anyone love my love poems?
Or be inspired by my protests?
Or close their eyes and picture the moments
I found unforgettable?

Will I be remembered for writing a few too many days?
For running out of things to say and
Waffling on anyway?

Or perhaps someone might find some truth in these words
Or a perspective never before expressed
Maybe
Maybe not
But no harm in waffling on
A
Little
Bit
Longer

We were inseparable
Until we were too busy
Or too tired to laugh
And we'd talk nonsense
For hours on end
For some release
From logic and coursework
We'd eat junk
Because why the hell not?
And we were inseparable
Because why wouldn't we be?
When we knew each other so well
Well enough to call each other
Trees and weird toads
And we laughed and laughed
And laughed and never grew up
Because why should we?
So we didn't  and we won't ever
Not really
Not when we're together
We'll always be not-quite-adults
With whims and fantasies
And silliness
That meant so much
For meaning nothing

In my heart I know
That doesn't mean anything
I'm so sure
You'll probably grow out of it
It's a part of me
Just hormones playing tricks
This is who I am
You're lying to yourself
I'm happier this way
You're making things difficult
I don't belong in there
You don't belong anywhere
I'll find someone who loves me
Not me
I just want to live a normal life
You can't anymore
I'll dress how I want
You're ugly in that
I feel beautiful
Freak

.

Between my fingers
Lies the power to entrance
The beauty to bring tears
The energy to make dance
A shift across one step
And the atmosphere could change
The air becomes much hotter
And light seems to fade
Add an extra feeling
Above comfort, uncertainty
Yet still held in balance
By mellow intricacy
But stretch my thumb a little
I could pull back to hope
And climb up to sanctuary
On gently woven rope
And weave a simple story
Of loss, of love, of growth

And there on the screen,
At 7:49
The words for which I've waited
But never believed were mine

I'd prepared myself for failure,
Readied for defeat,
But now all fear is lifted
And I cannot speak

Because my future is secured
A degree awaits my hands
And beyond it so many options
I never thought I'd have

And I know, for once, I earned this
I worked hard, I pushed myself
So whatever comes of this
I deserved to do this well