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I relapse with a smile
and contemplate suicide
with a giggle;
because our society dictates
happiness, extroversion, ambition
should be carried even to
a grave dictated by
You; a distraction
a blissful escape-- help me
escape this nightmare

Is zero a number?
Is numb a feeling?
Is comatose slumber?
Is sleep now healing?

Is why a question?
Is try a verb?
When you can't shake
The ***** and herb?

Is static music?
Is silence screaming?
Is nighttime cursed...

is daytime dreaming?

Rewrite (c) 5/12/2015
Written 2014
For those battling addiction...

It's not something you "give up"
It's something you LET GO.

  May 2015 Paris Elizabeth
"The problem with suicide is that when it becomes an option in your mind, it's always an option."
Paris Elizabeth May 2015
My writing is scattered like my thoughts because there are so many things
That I've been keeping locked away
Not from you
But from me
Because whenever I have to think about things properly
It hurts
Almost physically.

I cannot think too deep in fear of what I will discover inside
A monster
How much longer can I hide?

You say hello, I say goodbye.

One day
They say
These struggles will be worth it!

Well it's been more than a year now and it's not any easier
Everyday I feel like crying
But just end up sighing
I'm sick of this life
Wasted Life
Was supposed to be something
And now it's feeling like nothing.

Take me away
To the day
Where I look back and say
"my struggles were worth it".
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