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Ell Aug 26
I love you
but I can't help but let it cross my mind.
the few days where I didn't know where you were made me much happier.
you're with him.
I can't help but let it cross my mind.
I know what you do.
you wrote me a song and sang it for him.
I love you but I can't sit here and let you **** me.
my emotions are worth more than you.
I am not the person you cause me to be.
what the **** is this ****
Ell Oct 22
I want to feel the breaking of my own skin. the resist of the blade on my upper thigh.
god, I am worthless.
the only thing that makes me feel as good as you do is the trickle of blood down my legs.
how quirky.
I can't even describe myself.
I am becoming my father. addiction will always be a top priority.

"I promise, I promise"
and to think, I would never break one.

I am everything I am trying to run away from.
Ell Aug 21
Give me a moment.
Let me ponder the idea of you in my arms.
come here, lovely.
let me hold you for the first time in a blue moon.
kiss me.
dash out the door into the flashing skies.
we will fear nothing.
watch as the rain pours its wisdom to the earth once again.
lie to me.
tell me you love me.
kiss me.
to take your hand was to follow you to my deepest regret.
kiss me.
Ell Nov 5
I wonder what the world is like without space.
no stars,
no moon,
no Jupiter, Pluto, or Mars.
nothing.
I wonder what the world id like with just us.
no siblings,
no pets,
no parents, rules, or laws.
just you and i.

do you think the universe perceives itself ?
what is the world without the man in the moon?
Ell Aug 20
When you remember us
does the ghostly figure of someone I used to be sits still in its old forgotten home?
Your heart had somehow captivated me.
The old me is locked to the old you,
And although we aren’t the same,
Our old souls tangle together as best friends, without our acknowledgment anymore.
Although the hole in my heart is filled with those two souls holding onto memories that were once ours, I think they may be enough to keep my tears from streaming.
Ell Aug 21
Everything the night held could've been ours.
the stars burned onto a canvas map,
only for the sake of our learning.
you gave me the moon,
forgetting to tell me it would fall at dawn.
Ell Nov 5
i begged her to stay.
she took her last 'breath' on the
machine that became her lungs.
she left consumed by the medicine they
pumped into her veins.
the tube in her throat kept her
last words on the tip of her tongue.
I watched her rot from the inside out,
all while standing six feet back.
please wear your mask

— The End —