I voted today
For a child
For the lesser evil
For the better side of the devil
He laughs
She laughs
***** hands shake one another
Abuse each other
Bruise America

The back and forth
The teasing and harassing
The lies and the blaming
I voted for a child today
I'm not happy about it
Are you happy about it?

This pattern... These signs,
I've seen them before
Didn't I JUST go through this
Twice before?
Didn't I JUST leave someone
Who was exactly the same
And I told myself I wouldn't ever
Let myself fall again for that game...
Didn't I just become single?
And didn't I cry on my pillow for weeks?
Because I turned out to be less to someone else
Than what he was to me...
And didn't I just pick myself back up
And for what? To fall again?
Girl, get you're head on straight-
You're way better than these men!
They play these games with your head
And they will do nothing but burn you
You tell yourself each one of them is different
But that has yet to be true.
You give them chance after chance
And they take you for granted
They misuse your kindness and your love and
Chasing after their truth leaves you distracted.
You don't need another heart break right now
Leave this guy fast!
You will regret it if you don't
Just like the last.

Our hearts were at war.
Now my heart has given up on you.
I see nothing more to fight for...
No hope in you.
All this time I was fighting-
Until I just decided I'm not right for you.
And you're no good for me either,
So now what do we do?

I felt stuck for a long time,
but now I see things clearly.
I have nothing more to offer you,
You really did take the best of me.

You used me then expected me to still be the same girl.
I spent too much time debating and I've decided to let go.

For once I'm doing what's best for me
And I know you won't understand.
I hope one day you find peace within
And that love finds you again.

Knee socks
Lace bra
Satin robe
Matching thong

Hair down
Makeup on
Finger rings
Necklace from my mom

Knitted blanket
Love movies
Hot coffee
Poetry

Would be so much better
If you were here with me.

I don’t wear the ring anymore
But I kept it
It reminds me of destructive youth
Of broken promises
Believed lies
Long nights
A circle of fights

You may not understand
Why it sits in my dresser
Pushed around
Sinking further and further to the bottom
Used and tossed aside

But I will tell you why
Because it’s a symbol of what I was to you
And I never want to forget that
Even if you forgot that.

You want me to open up to you,
But where to begin...
With the memories that scare me at night
Or the scars on my skin?
I could tell you of pain
That you've watched on a screen
And tell you it's real
Because it happened to me..
Or I could let you into my mind
And open up Pandora's box
Secrets that nobody wants to hear
My deepest regrets and thoughts...
My hardest lessons learned
And the dreams I once had
Stories of my happiest moments with him
That now just drive me mad.
How much is too much to know?
What's the price on a painful memory?
Is there anything I could do or say
That would make you turn away from me?
Would you listen then forget?
Would your eyes see someone new?
These are all questions I need answered
Before I can feel comfortable opening up to you.

He said I love you, but you can't be my girl.
He said I was too valuable like a vintage car you keep in your garage and don't drive. But he said I was so beautiful he needed me in his life.

He said I was gorgeous, but he couldn't take me with him. He said I was so valuable that I was almost too fragile, and if he slipped his fingers off of me I might fall and shatter like fine glass.

He said I was brilliant, but I should lay back and relax. Let him take charge and take care of me. The best gift I could give him is my heart and he doesn't need my money.

A perfect image. Too perfect to be real. The truth was right in front of me if I would have just picked away the layers of lies. He had a woman and he only just wanted something pretty on the side. He wanted me to lean on him so I felt unable to leave.

It was a seductive day in Phoenix
The only one I'd ever seen
Rain fell from the heavens so harshly
This wasteland turned into an evergreen

Just as overbearing as the heat of day
This desert showed no mercy
The barriers were broken and the flood was released
Blessing this land with novelty

Thunder like drums through the midnight skies
Lightning to lead our way
For twenty-four hours, this place was pure ecstasy
Never was there a more enchanting day.

I crawled off the Muni
Gagging from too much liquor
Smeared ash from the ground on my face
Sitting next to the Quick Stop, with a quarter of a Miller
I waited for you, Aimee
Someone like you
Innocence that should surround you
You were painted with hues
The roaring of armed pedestrians
A home made of paper and broken glass
You sat next to me for someone to listen
And I was going nowhere fast
I listened and I heard your pain
Too young to know it's not normal
Sweet thing, don't give up
Resist the inevitable
These people will dye your skin new colors
And time will show no mercy
I've waited a lifetime for you to be here with me today
For someone to listen to this advice that I wished someone would have told me.

Break me past my breaking point
Submerge me past the sea line
Suffocate my air, push my limits farther
Make loving you harder
Lace my life with confusion
Paint me a fictitious illusion
Tie my ankles and bind my wrists
Give me something to resist
I dare you to try like you have something to prove
I might just like it so I may just let you.

Alone in my castle
Some still say that I miss you
On the street and behind closed doors
They all whisper about you
I can't help but hear them but I pretend that I don't
Curious lips and watchful eyes
They follow me like some damsel
I walk past them with poise as if you were here still
But I continue through this dreadful gate
To begin another night alone in my castle

Where have you been
I haven't heard your voice in what feels like decades
Have you been near love?
I haven't felt this distant from you since I've seen your face

Stuck in time, frozen in memory
You stay...

I hate to close my eyes
Because I see your eyes
And I feel your warmth
I hear you tell me there's no one else that you're meant to be with in this moment

I hate to dream
Because I feel your hand
And I taste your kiss
And my heart beats out of my chest in sync with yours

In this memory world, I live a life of fictitious smiles that are based on moments. But it feels like a life we could have created. We had it in a second.

There was a certain shade of blue
That I happened to only find in you
A certain song I would often hear
That now lets me know that you are near

Neither sad nor joyous
You seem to love and embrace us
A memory so faint and all so clear
I see you in my dreams and sense you're near

In darkness I fear not
For, by my side you have a spot
A watchful eye, an attentive ear
Present or not, I still know you are near.

Hey,
Do you see it?
I do..
I see my future flash before my eyes, as I look at you.
I feel my heart pound through my chest
As if it craves to be one with you
Hey, can you feel it?
Because I most certainly do.

You know that it is true what they say, don't you?
That love is blind...
But do you know why?
Because her lover carved out her eyes when he learned that she saw him with another woman.
Even still, she loved him to her last breath in his arms.

Sometimes she just sits by the fire
In the middle of the night
She makes a small plate
And keeps off all the lights.

Sometimes she leans against her window
Staring out at the moon
Wishing on stars
Swaying to her favorite tune.

Sometimes you may see her
In her own little world
On a bus route somewhere
Looking out into the world.

She silently lives
But she's happy this way
Lonely as she appears
But she is her favorite company, every day.

We were passing souls who stopped for a minute to admire the other.

Your eyes and mine fell in love. For one moment, we were everything to each other.. But only for a second. The more we analyzed each other, the faster we disconnected.

You were on another path and I was from a different world.

We feel so deep that we reach an abyss

We feel nothing because we feel everything all at once

Our hearts are trying to send too much data to our brains--

O v e r l o a d !

In the most random place
In the middle of no where
I met a boy
Who turned out to be a nightmare

In a room filled with others
I felt something strange
To look up and across the room at someone
Who seemed to already know me
As my eyes met his
It felt like we were staring for days
And in that moment I knew
Everything was about to change

What felt like hours had passed
Seconds went by
Until the person I was talking to
Snapped me back to real life

I detached from his eyes suddenly
Then looked back that way
He was walking out of the room
When somebody called his name

He seemed displeased to take me
Where I needed to go
And the whole car ride there
He made me feel so uncomfortable

Feeling like a burden
Until we reached the destination
I quickly reached for the door
Then he asked to see me again...

The next time we met
A rush jolted through me
And every time after we parted
Felt like a sad story

This was all so unplanned
And I was lying to myself
Made myself believe
That I was ready for someone else

I thought I fell in love
But realized I only just fell
I hit the ground face first
And it hurt like hell

He didn't really want me
He only wanted to have me
A possession he could call his
Put me in his pocket and keep me

I was swept off my feet
When you grabbed me by the arm
You stole me away into the night
And had me completely disarmed
I couldn't see anything around us
Except tall buildings and fainted lights
We ran through alley ways
Up and down stairs, we took flight
My hand in your hand
Your eyes spoke in rhythm to me
Your kisses and your fingers
All over my body.
Tonight you will have me
And tomorrow I'll be gone
Just as quickly as we met
We both will have moved on.

I just want to say thank you to everyone who has reached out and congratulated me on my poem and the ones who have written such heartfelt comments. I truly do appreciate each single one of you. Keep writing friends! :)

Your stare was wicked
You looked at me like I could be desert
I could feel all of your senses surrounding me
Your entire body craved me
I could feel it.

I thought your hands could heal
You twisted them together in a way that made me think you were a magician
Your stare was wicked
I thought you could see through me, you made me feel like delicate glass in your hands.
Vulnerable, exposed, so trusting
You threw me to the cement and I shattered
CRASH!

A billion pieces, you watched and waited
I laid and desecrated.
Melting into the earth under the sun
Like glass on a beach.
Stepped over and buried by progression.

And you moved on.

Watch her
She will leave. Just as fast as you can blink
Watch her
She will leave. Despite what you may feel or think.
Catch her
If you can. She will fade with every breath
Catch her
If you care. She will be your worst regret.

She dances,
Alone.
In such grace and poise
Positioned in between the tallest buildings
And she poses
For the camera
The bright flashes

Or on stage
In the spotlight
Twirling and twisting
Not a hair out of place
Not a step out of line
Not a breath unplanned

Trained to be accurate
Self destructing, but so well collected
The most beautiful dancer the world has ever seen.

It will break you, challenge you, shape you.

It will rip your heart out and devour it, ***** it back up and serve it to you for dinner.

It will twist your mind and make you question your sanity, your intentions, and your morals.

It will leave you on a street corner begging for a ride or curled up on your bathroom floor with a half empty bottle of gin.

He said "It feels like I'm dying"
I replied "Part of your heart that you gave away is dying. A piece of you is decaying. A vital ***** is suffering.
But you will live. You will grow. Then you will love again".

She is beautiful.
Not because her hair is flawless or her skin is soft.
Not because she is tall nor because her smile reminds you of dandelions.
Not because her nails are painted and her clothes are all so clean.

She is beautiful because she understands you and loves your soul. She is beautiful because she truly loves you, and after all; what is more beautiful than that.

You relinquish your beauty when you allow others to decide what is beautiful about you.

He walks with himself
He is his own best company.
He pushes forward and you often do not notice
You ignore his plead but you see him wander
A breathing tumble ****.
Shrubbish, wobbly, and *****
He zig zags through the crowd
Sometimes he screams and he too cries
Just like you
Sometimes he trembles in the night
Just like you
Sometimes he dreams of better days
Just like you.

Some nights are really hard
Some are better than others
I don't know why I sit here sometimes
And look at the videos and pictures of us together.
I don't know why I torture myself with the what if's
And wonder what your up to
I think sometimes that I made a huge mistake
Then get ******* remembering what I put you through.
Sometimes I feel like the pain will never leave
Then in an instant I'm mad as hell
Sometimes I feel like I've lost it all
And I just can't control myself.
Some days I think we're better this way
And some nights I wish I could pick up the phone
Call you to come over and have you here with me
Just so I don't feel so alone.
I always feel like I lost my best friend
And I always feel so empty inside
I try to stop myself from remembering
All of the happiness you once brought to my life.
I try to stop myself from feeling regret
And try to justify the things I've done
Trying to make myself hate you
When it came to ******* up I wasn't the only one.
But then I feel so guilty and terrible
Because you loved me so much
And even though I knew it, I couldn't feel it
And I don't know why your love suddenly wasn't enough.
I made you feel like less of a man
And I just try so hard to forget
I try to live past it every day
It kills me to keep thinking back to it.
An empty abyss inside me lingers
And it wants to reach out to you
I can't help but wish you were here
I can't help but feel that I need you.

What if you could read another person's thoughts
What if you could hear their mind
If you could see what they think...
You may be better off blind

I wanted so badly to be loved by you
That I let you suffocate me with a fake idea

Embrace your heartbreak
Suffocate your sorrow
Be the girl he couldn’t hinder
Ignite your inner bravado

Hush baby, everything is going to be okay
Close your eyes and let the tears fall
Clench your teeth and hold your breath
Then let it all out, scream into your pillow.

Feel everything right now
Everything that everyone tried to make you forget
Because no matter how far down you burry the chaos today,
Sure as daylight, one day it will all re-surface and you will feel it.

They told me not to wait for you
And I forgot to breathe
I waited like a waiter and I'm still waiting
I catered and excused you
And I'm still being used
I can't let go
I can't say no

They told me not to wait for you
To change, to show up, to love me
Don't hold your breath, they said
But here I am because I forget to breathe

You and your love are like bruises on my skin. Not kisses or butterflies. Your intentions seemed so pure at first. Like my soft and delicate flesh. And then you punched me around and left me with dark reminders of your cruelty.

But just as bruises do, you began to fade away. Goodbye to you and your bruises.

It takes the most courage to love again
And again and again and again.

And each time you fall deeper
And each time you come out cleaner.

I know in this moment I want to be in love with you. Let your guard crash down like waves and come build a fortress with me. You need a home. We can build one together. Your walls and my walls on their own will never protect us. Help me protect you and love me unconditionally.

Sometimes I fear that if I'm too quiet everyone may hear what I'm thinking; what I'm feeling.  What I know to be true is that every time I'm around you my little world crumbles and all I want to do is take cover with you.

Often when I'm alone I find myself lost in a jumbled word wreckage like being in a junk yard trying to find something that will satisfy the search efforts.

At times I forget where I am in the middle of a conversation because my mind is trying to run away. Too many ideas and my brain can't just sit down and hang out with us for one whole topic. Say goodbye as she finds another path to walk on.

She is the crisp air that fills my lungs
The damp salty wind in my beach hair
The cold wet sand between my toes
My young blood on these city streets
From the snowflakes on my tongue
To the redwoods that surround me,
Her independence and diversity
Are my sweetest comfort.
As I drive south with her at my back
It is a sad and painful goodbye.

I invite you in to try and re-establish a friendship we once had.
You come in only to re-establish a ****** relationship we once had.
When both intentions collide... We realize that the other had a different idea in mind.

Things just got weird.

Can we just be one...
Can we love with more passion than we've ever known.
Can you take me into your arms and never let me go.

So... I've been gone for a while,
Been trying to get my life in line
Thinking about the future mixed with where I've been
A memory sangria, without the tequila and wine

Not quite where I imagined I'd be
Still so far from understanding
All of the mistakes that I've made and the damage I've caused
While trying to come in for a smooth landing

Hearts that I've shattered while trying to feel whole
Searching for love through sleepless nights
Tearing apart families then embracing that karma
Turning all of my wrongs into rights

Somehow I don't find it necessary anymore to have a say
Lost between silent and won't shut up
I thought I had it all figured out yesterday
But I woke up today feeling quite stuck.

Yea, he makes me laugh all day
And his eyes are happy to see me
His hands so quickly reach for mine
When I lay on him his heart beats rapidly.
He sends me texts that say "I miss you"
He forgives me for abandoning him
A few months ago when I was reckless
He holds me like I never left.
He brings me to old places
He lets me nap in his bed
He trusts me with his secrets at night
He willingly lets me into his head.
I see nothing wrong with him, except
He needs love and I can't give that
I have no doubt that he can wait patiently
But I'm afraid I won't ever have it back.
I'm sure I'll look back on this poem one day
And smile to remember him
Sitting alone in my thoughts at home
Dreaming of what it could have been.