minsan kong napagtanto:
"habambuhay bang gan'to?"
hanggang sa sabi nila,
"wala, ganyan talaga."


sometime i've realized:
"would it be this way for life?"
until they told me,
"it is what it is."

pbl--072717

are we going to
wait until the rubicon
fully vanishes?

"Walang iwanan, ha?"*
Itinanong mo pa
Ng tayo'y lumisan
Sa munting restawrant.

Wala akong sagot
Kasi, ang pangako't
Hiling ay mahirap
Itupad; isikap.

Lumipas ang buwan at
Magkasama, hangga't
Dumating ang oras
Tayo'y nagpumiglas.

Kahit simpleng tali,
Katapat ay gupit;
Kadenang makapal,
Siya di'y napipigtal.

'Wag magbitaw basta
Ng mga salita
Kung hindi mo kayang
Pangatawanan pa.

pbl/080817

who am i?
i am a failure
who can't even make it to dean's list
after i told myself to twice.

who am i?
i am an irresponsible adult
who can't even help
around a house that is not my own.

who am i?
i am an agnostic
stuck in a delusion, not in a god
but in a world where i am actually good enough.

who am i?
i am a friendless girl,
with a defense mechanism
of exterior toughness.

who am i?
i am a self-critical person,
that does nothing right
and never improves.

who am i?
*i am a person who feels
confident in my head, but actually
small enough to crush outside.

go have fun following trends
with your fake *** friends

never bare your scars
to someone who hasn't tasted blood

I was 15, but still clueless
Not only that, I was also reckless
Soon I'd be going to college
But I still don't know what my purpose in life is

I'm a keen observer, and all I could see
Are my friends, and how lovely they came out to be
I was seeing them grow and mature
Into people I admire, beautiful and pure

But why am I stuck here,
My growth staggering miserably?
I watched as they'd grow with love,
I can't lie; sometimes it brings me to jealousy.

Maybe it wasn't my time yet
Or maybe it's up to me
But I know...

As cliche as this sounds,
Better days will come
And I'll turn out happy.

p.b.l.

Oh, honey
Are you still looking for encouraging words to get you by?
Okay, here're a couple, they're worth a try.

"Do you see the sunrise in every day?
Trust me, love,
It'll take all your hope
Once it fades away.

You think you'll be fine
Because you have people around?
Guess who weighs more on their scale, dear?
Not people like you, not tokens tossed when found.

***** all of them and
Hang out with me,
They won't like you, you're trash and
Forgotten easily.

Stop listening to them,
Only listen to me!
I'll give you the cold, hard truth;
They'll give you fake sympathy.

Are you scared, my dear?
Want to cry and flee?
Then latch onto my words, promise
I won't make you feel worse.

I'll just tell you frankly
What people really see.
I love you, you love me,
Isn't that how it's supposed to be?!

I'll soothe your worries,
And ease your thoughts.
Acid to the wounds,
Those are my only rules.

We're meant to be,
Though, don't think of me too much;
I wouldn't want you getting needy, or
Causing somberness of such."

Signing off...

Your best friend and your biggest fan,
I'm practically family.
The dreaded horror in your mind,
Your own anxiety.

p.b.l.
08/02/2016

the formidable
rubicon, where it could make
or break what we have

thin-veiled illusions
soon exposed in commitment
to reality

So the clouds parted with the storm:
"This isn't us, this isn't our norm"

Seemed like no one wanted company
From someone they once depended for glee

**p. b. l. 04/18/2017

you ****** me over;
don't expect any kind of
forgiveness from me.

pbl---12/06/17

a man is an island: foremost,
he has eyes on himself,
does right by himself,
benefits only himself.

i am man.
i have my eyes on myself,
i do right by myself,
i only benefit myself.

i could be part of an archipelago,
but when the sun sets,
and i stare at darkness,
all i have is myself.

pbl-080117

it's times like these where
the silence, light and time are
consumed by my thoughts


pbl--072717

i can't depend on time
to heal all my wounds