Lamtumirë*
in Albanian is greeting a loved one when,
you are leaving forever. It literally means
"We leave things well". It is finding
consensus in endings.
B
u
t
.
.
.
Things get so arduous when,
in Japan they offer an art for repairing
b r o k e n   pieces  with  golden  lacquer.
*K i n t s u g i

The    physical     alienation
tilts  the entire spectrum of
  internal   parallel universes
  Which    generate  limitless  
  scenarios   of   "perhaps"-es
  and  bittersweet "what if"-s
  Up to the  point  where  the
  outside  dissolves   into   the
   inevitable           acceptance
ItAllMeltsWithinThisWhiteNoise

\ \/ /  
As
the
cat
jumped
into the
lake. It realized
  \ \there had been no/ /
\ \ \fish to catch at all./ / /
\ \But it was too late / /
and our cat was
left with a wet
fur in the
cold
...

The sun sets not far from midnight in Oslo
Enough to leave a little space to bedtime thoughts
In Vlorë the light fades just when the sea needs to rest
Birds fly to new places even though they know they will leave

We  are  both  receivers
Of each-other's pulses.
Shortening thus
the time
and
space
between our
souls and minds
Until I remain the
.
O
n
l
y
.
approaching source
And
you become a retreatant receiver.
.
The
connection
is
lost
.

Repetition
Repetition, repetition, repetition
A dancing circle...
Round, around, round
Sun, rain
Sun, sun, Rain rain, Rain, sun.
Repetition
Life- Death, Death-Life
All as part of one.
Repetition...

I feel my consciousness resting at the center of my chest
feeling nothing, thinking nothing...
Peace.
I feel thoughts struggling, fighting, discussing
within my brain...
Pain.
I feel the air touching my body. Penetrating
the pores, the lungs...
Cold.
I feel the echo of a tune in my ears, head, heart.
A connection.
I feel separated, divided, cut in three.
Body, Mind and Soul. For...
A moment.
A day.
Weeks, months...
Life.

Transform   me   to   the    point  of   death
Surrounding    my    scars     with   daisies,
Overloading  my   blood with  white light,
Explode   me   into   billions    of   sparkles.
Then    create    my   wings  out    of    frail
fairy  dust   and the  strength of a tornado.
After give me eyes to  see energy   floating
And antennas to feel every touch as a bliss
Turn   my   being   into     a          butterfly,
So    I     can      pop      around       prettily,
Colorfully,       energetically,        infinitely.
**Love me!

Emptiness is created by the idea of something missing.
But what if it is merely a  failed  realization of fullness?
I am already alive, living, crying, laughing, experiencing
Even though you are not here.

Let' s order words  
in the shape  of a bouquet,
So with each you can penetrate me,
And then ever so naturally be me, in me
A perpetual sonata of two entities, Dancing
deliberately when melted in one; Emotionally
colorful  and spiritually dissolving.
But you choose to eat me up
all at once
  Then spit
 me out
taste
less
...
..
.

I
.                                h
.                           ­               a
f                                                 v
o                                                       e
n                                                            d
i                                                                 e
a                               M                              c
h                               E                                i
c                                                                 d
d                                                             e
o                                                        d
o                                                    t
f                                               o
e                                        b
h                              e
  t

Right now I am in my cabin
In the woods,with books,fire
And a lot of mud to recreate
What should have been reality.

The music is slow.......................................
Sensual......sweet...­....... saddening...........
A  moment of    intimacy   with myself,
Beyond         the abilities of the physical,
Deja senti -s of you explode......................
An explosion       of                 sensations:
Smiles,emptiness,femininity,uncertainty
The mirage of old fantasies appears.........
Every cell is dru n k w i t h f o g g y j o y
...
Then in the f o g        y o u        v a n i s h
And sharply as a thunder
!!!!Your resiudes hit me!!!!
...Again...

D  i s c overing
.
Qualia and the Causal-explanatory Approach
In a day like Today
As
Today is Infinite
.
E x p a n s i o n

.
The wind screaming
Pine  trees shivering
Your eyes still feel like home
.

Wavelengths dissolve into
Vibrations, images, water
Every "Now" is perpetually temporary.
Ad infinitum  is thus a frivolous dream .

Having "The photograph" playing in the background
As cicadas perplex the senses under the  dazzling  sun
To  Love,  one  sings  when  it  can  not  be       touched.

This won't
be a poem about a man
This is about the self that was lost .
Years spent to achieve the emptiness
I'm left with, Because yellow is the
color of the sun, and I'm the earthly
brown which covers corpses,
The symbol of a pathetic filthy
me emerges in your thoughts,
Whilst my caterpillar
self, Shall become
a butterfly
one
day
!!!

Male muses |  |  are confusing
         their                                    and        
         absence                              you        
       dries                             wander      
          you                                       ­ in        
          out                                          a        ­
deserted..........|    |..........maze

Unsure if soaking in mahogany, sangria and lipstick
makes up for all the words I  want to make you feel...
*Square, chords, void, silence.

Nature  is  a repetition of  rituals
To keep balances  and  motion ..
And this is how life  goes   while,
I  countdown  the days  to I feel
the   joy  of  summer  breeze  as
kittens grow under the sunshine

eaking, I am
   *p                                                       d
C    S                                                 ­                      i
Y          .      H                                  ­                                       s
L           .           E                                                            ­                  s
    L       y            M                  floating  with-        ­                                 o
       A   l              I               out any proprieties  left                                  l
        ­b           C                    formless, an original state of                                v
     i                                  nothingness. You ask for a solid                              e
     s                                 I am not;  But unknowingly you                              d
    i                   ­                  have respired me, Then  you c-                                i
    v                                      ombined with a container yo                                   n
       n                                      -u fit in,  As I am perpe-                                         ,         i                                          tually transforming                                           c
          ;                                                  ­                                                              o­
            s                                                 ­                                                       u
      ­      m                                                        ­                                     n
            o                                              ­                                         t
                  t                                        ­                                     l  
                  a                                      ­                          e
      *bubbly       s        s

In summer nights
-like this-
The rain embraces earth
-after a while-
Flashbacks of fantasized men appear
-dangerously   in  my   emptiness-
Unlived memories scratch my naive insides
-misleading my disoriented senses-
My     mind     asks     for     reasons
-in the desert-
I    close   my    eyes
-anddecide-
To joyfully live

It's 4:30 am,
And you just went to sleep.
I imagine you closing your eyes,
With a smile between the edge of your lips and cheeks.
Of course it should be a smile,
You should always smile, despite how weird you think you look.
Oh, how I love you.
Such a long time, such a peace.
A day will come, and you will love me back.
And I will wait,
For it is 4:30 in the morning
And sleepless from all these years,
*I am still waiting...

Perhaps        I        You
        our         could     could    
              lives        forget    remember  
entangl­ed        about    the          
           so      another  love      
               man     for
                          and     a            
                                past
                                    woman
To                           
                 you         But                             
                        it             in          You                    
             was         one        are          
       bad          of          not    
            timing        my         letting        
                   infinite         me      
                            universes         go                   
                 
                                    How   ­   
                                     Naive
                                            **.

Your *******
 shines  in  a
constellation
 e v e r  s o
 d  i  s t a  n t
 f  r  o  m
 m i n e
 But
 The flowers
 of my most
 vivid planet
  seem to only
 need that
 silly slight
 light.

June ' s
m oo n
hi d e s
a g a in
C  a  t s
s  t  a y
a p a rt
f r o m
d o g s'
b a rks
                             The multiverse manifests
                             itself  in  d r e a m s ........

Truth is...
I will always feel
An ugly, independent, grown, asymmetrical woman
who puts barriers to herself and crashes barriers by herself
.
Truth is...
I don not know what makes a woman or a human
Perhaps I will always live in the duality
of self-sabotage
.

Bare feet grounding firmly
Distant whistles of soulmate songs
Your name still playing in the back of my head.

Autumn lightnings, heavy clouds, night sky
No stars, no lights, no one
Hiding in darkness, fantasizing of happiness, exposed by skylights
The realization, the loneliness, the search
Unable to be understood, incapable of feeling, frozen
Empty... mathematical words.... hungry
A drooling dry mouth, semi-closed red eyes, trembling soul
Inconsistent, Shapeless, Searching
I dive into the inevitable future
Aware of my vampire self accompanying me!

What  shape do wavelengths of a sudden snap of reality create,
When they scratch me from the peace
of an internal form-
-less diving
?

Apa t h etic,
C u d  d l y,
E m  p  t y,
G e  n  t l e,
In trig ued,
L   o   s   t ,
Nos ta lgic,
Pe a c eful ,
R  u  s  t y ,
T  i  r  e  d ,
Victorious ,
Xant hous,
Z  a  n  y  .

...
INSIDE DISCUSSING TRUCE

  AM   The  windows  have railings,    W 
 
   I    Which are protected by a wall  I

      AS   Outside  lays the entire world   TH  

M  Y             D  E  M  O  N  S
...

You are slowly occupying me,
...
D
e
e
p
l
y
...
Inserting your complementary energy
   in my multi-electron soul.
(But)
The sedimentary stones of experiences
twist my perceptions.
!
U
n
w
i
l
l
i
n
g
l
y
!

When  the  internal  righteousness is a mixture of  all  outside  realities
You shift in many "devils" up to the point where "You" no longer exist
Once   in   a  while, Seeking becomes monotonously an exciting habit
But the latest iPhone and Burberry collection definitely make everything better.

There is this one movie about
colorlessness  and  sensations
And then there is you
colorful as a tropical island
whose white sands and green trees
hold within the entire spectrum of  experiences.
How    perplexing.

I am a composition
of all human doings in 2014 years,
I am not ME
just a mix of pre-created things,
Even if a glimpse of originality hits me
still it isn't me,
But the need of the already created world
and its result in a certain time and space.
Yet futilely I keep searching ...

...As memories correlate themselves with the past...
You notice the scars you've made to your
body and soul and mind,
Only to realize
that you
were
not
the
pr
o
t
a
g
o
n
i
s
...t...

I remember the day you met the love of your life
She sat in a bonsai garden, g r o w i ng your
imagination with vivid stories and melodious notes
An exotic oriental sensation elegantly wining
against me, a disordered mass of molecules
that had been creating countless scenarios for years!
Oh, so unambiguously!

This                         smoke                                                     on  air            
               cigarette's                                floats carelessly                              


As      I       have            c h a n g e d                                                          
                             ­                  my life prophecy              
                                                           ­                           thrice today!    
                  
 Howbeit  ,   the     sun      shines     on        deserted              lands        
...

When  I   was    young   I   was told  that
the eclipse was  a  rendezvous  of kisses
between the Sun and the Moon
Science   lets   us   know   that it'd be the end
if the Earth  is     close     to  kissing the Sun
I     am    the   Earth
You, as always, shine