Emptiness is created by the idea of something missing.
But what if it is merely a  failed  realization of fullness?
I am already alive, living, crying, laughing, experiencing
Even though you are not here.

I remember the day you met the love of your life
She sat in a bonsai garden, g r o w i ng your
imagination with vivid stories and melodious notes
An exotic oriental sensation elegantly wining
against me, a disordered mass of molecules
that had been creating countless scenarios for years!
Oh, so unambiguously!

...
INSIDE DISCUSSING TRUCE

  AM   The  windows  have railings,    W 
 
   I    Which are protected by a wall  I

      AS   Outside  lays the entire world   TH  

M  Y             D  E  M  O  N  S
...

Truth is...
I will always feel
An ugly, independent, grown, asymmetrical woman
who puts barriers to herself and crashes barriers by herself
.
Truth is...
I don not know what makes a woman or a human
Perhaps I will always live in the duality
of self-sabotage
.

There is this one movie about
colorlessness  and  sensations
And then there is you
colorful as a tropical island
whose white sands and green trees
hold within the entire spectrum of  experiences.
How    perplexing.

Nature  is  a repetition of  rituals
To keep balances  and  motion ..
And this is how life  goes   while,
I  countdown  the days  to I feel
the   joy  of  summer  breeze  as
kittens grow under the sunshine

Right now I am in my cabin
In the woods,with books,fire
And a lot of mud to recreate
What should have been reality.