maybe, i wasn't the first person to love you
nor i was the person you loved first.

this is by no means a competition
on who gets to love you first and last,
for you aren't a prize to be won.

but this i swear to the heavens,
i swear to the seas,
that i will love you endlessly,
and hold you just like what you deserve.

you held me during nights i couldn't get a hold of myself, stayed with me even when my mind was the loudest.  you never looked at me differently despite the scars that wounded my soul, and still  managed to say these never defined me as a person.

you believed in me through the days where self-doubts ran amok inside my head, and held my hand tighter when it felt like i was slipping away from your grip.

i remember wishing on 11:11s and on fallen eyelashes, praying to all the gods i know that something this precious won't get taken away from me, and i would be lying if i said there wasn't a time where i wasn't scared.

but despite everything, you stayed.

and that in itself meant so much to me, more than the words exchanged between us. even in the silence, in your absence, your presence holds so much weight that i constantly feel at ease.

for what it's worth, thank you.

thank you for staying with me so far, and it goes without saying that i'll stay with you as long as you'll let me. always.

what is it about you that i admire?

is it how you wear your heart on your sleeve,
how you never seem to hesitate to show
signs of vulnerability?

or maybe when your eyes show not-so-subtle
hints of happiness when you're talking,
when you're doing something you love?

perhaps it's the way you put others,
and their needs before yours?

is it the fact that you're independent,
passionate, a selfless lover?

i could list more reasons,
but nothing would ever suffice
nor completely encapsulate
the things that i admire about you.

then i realized, it's all just simple.
you, because you're you.

regardless of everything, my heart loves you.
it yearns, and grows fonder even in your absence.
it swells with comfort, with affection.
all because of you, for you.

your hands — so delicate, so soft. it has got my heart in those tired, calloused hands, and it's been his ever since. i'll hold your hand throughout this life's journey, and hold it tighter when you feel like slipping through my fingers. i'll never let go. not now, not ever.

your eyes — it holds the brightest and the universe's astonishing stars. hell, it holds every galaxy there is. even the ones unknown and undiscovered. i see a sea full of emotions, a window to your very soul. i see the deepest oceans, like sirens and mermaids luring me in with their beauty. i see passion, a love for various things i've yet to mention. i see how it sparkles, how it lights up whenever you do something that you love.

your smile — so warm, my comfort. one that feels like coming home, like arms welcoming you after a tiring day. a smile that holds sincere happiness and a sense of security, it makes you feel sure despite the thousand reasons to doubt.