and where he lives
his favorite color cobalt
blue, the bars he'd visited,
and the few women he went

there with. I know his breathing
when he sleeps is uneven and
the secrets that he keeps. Because
he talks in his sleep. I know

the musk he wears, and
that he hasn't underwear in his
bedroom drawers, just a bunch of
mismatched socks. I know the

pounds he can bench, his favorite
food, Indian. And who he voted for
president. I know his name. But today
as he walked by he didn't stop or say hi.

It hurts,
it hurts so,
so much
knowing
that I'm
not the kind of girl
people write songs about
or think about,
care about
or fall for..
Cause I'm too noisy
but also too quiet.
cause I'm not gentle
and not that kind
and I'm not gorgeous
or amazingly talented
and smart.

Will I ever find love..?

Can you still see me

Standing in this dark room

Talking to the memory of you

Your hand is back in my hair

The love is still there

Just like you never left

But that is not my life

I couldn't sit pretty

To let you create a pretty lie

And now I'm here and for all I know..

You may have died.

Would it help to complain?
Claim that I am losing my brain?
Put all of my issues onto your back
Give a guilt trip that you’re all I lack
Pretend to fall apart
Bring all kinda darkness into my heart
Give up on my art
Disappear
For nearly a year
With no explanation due
Would that get me
Some attention from you?  
What should I do?
Is my only option to get over you?  
Apparently so
I don’t need you to tell me
What I should already know
All of this is of no use
And it’s not on you
That I refuse to see the truth

out of anger,
out of rage
split the skin
in my thigh
the cut will represent the pain
that i can't bear to keep inside.

If you're not the fighting type
Don't put our hearts in the line