we wanted to buy a house
with an oceanfront view
so we could lounge
on our wrap around
porch
and listen to the seagulls.
that was before
fragile hope was
cast away
and dashed against rocks,
sinking beneath waves.

relax.
be calm.
you're safe.
in through the nose, out through the mouth
50 times
and, into thin air
anxiety disppears.
*safe

In South America, truck drivers are paid collossal amounts
of money, to deliver supplies between towns on
roads, no wider than the width of their trucks.

When you turned up on my doorstep that sunday in the rain,
your eyes told me before your lips did.

Sixty three hundred days is a long long time to wait for someone,
but I would do it all over again,
if it meant I could fall asleep in your arms one last time.

Next Autumn when the leaves turn rusty and fall from the trees,
I'll remember the afternoon we spent in Victoria park,
where you waded to the middle of the duckpond,
just because I said you wouldn't.

Your mother always told me when we stacked away the good china after Sunday lunch,
that your stubborness always got in the way of what was right.

You've been gone eight hours and still nobodies reminded me how difficult I can be at times.

Eight months later and everytime the phone rings I imagine your voice crackling down the line "come get me from the supermarket, I have sugar buns. "

i think sometimes,
nights spent alone listening to sad songs,
are one hundred times better,
than going out and getting drunk,
with silly adolescents,
high on life and other things.

when i told you this,
you just laughed,
and sprayed more colonge,
over your tanned wrists.

three hours later,
when you were locking lips with,
the blonde girl,
who was,
always first to like your facebook statuses,
the sad songs were on repeat in my head.

i hope in the morning you regret it.

Any day like today
Yesterday or
Tomorrow

A lonely long sidewalk
Music
Spearing from ear to ear
The same steps you’ve walked
Your entire life.

Notes building, gentle
Gliding sounds stringing
Your childhood till now
A vision of old images pouring out
In a new way never seen before.

Step, step, step.
Breathe in, breathe out
The heartbreak floating beside
The winning race like
Sisters separated at birth.

The kiss that shook mountains
The glance that dripped evil
Goosebumps, ice cold
The words that got you over it
The cigarette you had when you knew

No plank on this March
Nay, this sidewalk turns to brick
An uninterrupted mirage of life
Coming alive knowing the walk
Will be endless in memory.

I watched the turtle dwindle day by day,
Get more remote, lie limp upon my hand;
When offered food he turned his head away;
The emerald shell grew soft. Quite near the end
Those withdrawn paws stretched out to grasp
His long head in a poignant dying gesture.
It was so strangely like a human clasp,
My heart cracked for the brother creature.

I buried him, wrapped in a lettuce leaf,
The vivid eye sunk inward, a dull stone.
So this was it, the universal grief:
Each bears his own end knit up in the bone.
Where are the dead? we ask, as we hurtle
Toward the dark, part of this strange creation,
One with each limpet, leaf, and smallest turtle---
Cry out for life, cry out in desperation!

Who will remember you when I have gone,
My darling ones, or who remember me?
Only in our wild hearts the dead live on.
Yet these frail engines bound to mystery
Break the harsh turn of all creation's wheel,
for we remember China, Greece, and Rome,
Our mothers and our fathers, and we steal
From death itself its rich store, and bring it home.

my mind is
a big hunk of irrevocable nothing which touch and
taste and smell and hearing and sight keep hitting and
chipping with sharp fatal tools
in an agony of sensual chisels i perform squirms of
chrome and execute strides of cobalt
nevertheless i
feel that i cleverly am being altered that i slightly am
becoming something a little different, in fact
myself
Hereupon helpless i utter lilac shrieks and scarlet
bellowings.