Yiska feels as if
she's about to
split open
and her mind
pour out
all her thoughts
and feels like
she's about to *****
but she doesn't
now she feels
as if she's constipated
and the thoughts
and words
won't budge
and the mind quack
(psychiatrist)
sits opposite her
at his desk
and she sits
cross legged
staring at him
and out
of the window
behind him
she can see snow
falling
drifting slow
then fast
as if it can't
make up its mind
what to do
and on his desk
is a photograph
of a family group
of smiling faces
and she hates it
the smiling
that we are ok
and living well
kind of look
she says nothing
the words
have become
bunged up
in her head
and he talks
about ECT
about how it helps
depressives
and others
with mental
health issues
and all she wants
is to go back
to the locked ward
and sit
in the arm chair
by the window
and radiator
in her night gown
and think of nothing
just good old nothing
and wait until
Benny arrives
and sits beside her
and they both sit
and think of nothing
and nothingness
enfolds them
like a warm
fat mother
and they just
like to be
close to each other.
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 3:00 AM UTC
Yiska feels as if
she's about to
split open
and her mind
pour out
all her thoughts
and feels like
she's about to *****
but she doesn't
now she feels
as if she's constipated
and the thoughts
and words
won't budge
and the mind quack
(psychiatrist)
sits opposite her
at his desk
and she sits
cross legged
staring at him
and out
of the window
behind him
she can see snow
falling
drifting slow
then fast
as if it can't
make up its mind
what to do
and on his desk
is a photograph
of a family group
of smiling faces
and she hates it
the smiling
that we are ok
and living well
kind of look
she says nothing
the words
have become
bunged up
in her head
and he talks
about ECT
about how it helps
depressives
and others
with mental
health issues
and all she wants
is to go back
to the locked ward
and sit
in the arm chair
by the window
and radiator
in her night gown
and think of nothing
just good old nothing
and wait until
Benny arrives
and sits beside her
and they both sit
and think of nothing
and nothingness
enfolds them
like a warm
fat mother
and they just
like to be
close to each other.
A GIRL IN A PSYCHIATRIC WARD IN 1971.
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