I've been thinking about you a lot lately.
its hard to breathe and think these days and nights
turning into tired mornings.
rolling over
wishing away the bright light that falls through my open curtains.
the street calls for me.
my pen calls my name.
asking me to write down short words
about shorter roads that led me to dead ends.
long lost in memories of years past.
I have forgotten them.
they are no longer part of me.
because roads i travel on now
are hard and rough
like calluses on the hands of cattle drivers
through cold mountain passages in early spring.
holding tight to ropes and reigns
knowing all they can do is wake up and ride again
because that is how they live.
they breathe like fire from the depths,
melting the frost off of their mustaches and beards
like icicles on the eves of your house.
like scars on his chest.
like leaves on trees i climbed as a child
they fall down to the ground and turn to earthly dust.
like birds in the sky in late july
when the wind is right I can smell your perfume.
the sweet scent of you dreaming at night drifts to my open window 12 miles away
and I live near the bay but the smell of salt does not drive it away
it pushes me closer to the thought of laying in an open field holding you gently
and today the trees start to turn an awkward green
before eventually burning seceding into blazing glory orange
heat like red fire
like phoenix into flames.
all the other birds have gone away
seeking a warmer place.
daylight is short but it remains
and it is enough to light the way
down another rough road waiting for may.
but once winter grey and white takes hold and takes flight,
day claims back what was stolen by night.
then comes spring chasing the grating dragging ice frozen pain
it goes away
and glory and hope become engrained in my brain
and these birds they come back
new strength to carry on.
pushing through to make new buds to form the green wings for nests to rest
and make love and make do and produce
and take flight once more to heights
thought not possible before.
yes it passes all is transient
everything massive
everything trivial
because menial tasks drive me and you insane
but you cant be away when i need you the most.
like now when im breathing so deep
and i just want to speak to you.
heart racing and thinking about facing away from tomorrow
because today feels like im so far away from you.
ok i know how to send signals of disgust and dismay
but i want to connect to the ethereal plane inside of your brain
and mind and soul and touch where you hold
everything out so true and so plainly.
because it is plain for me to see
that i cant seem to get rid of the thought of you knowing more than my name.
we could make brighter days
and nights that we can light
with our combined fire
that can burn brighter
than either of us can produce
with all of our might.