I wake up and it’s still dark outside
I don’t know exactly what time it is nor do I really care
Because by now I’ve been up long enough
To remember the reason I passed out
The pain that my heart carries leaving a trail of solitude.
Not knowing for sure if I will ever get you back
Not knowing if I will ever be able to dream and hope again
Not knowing if the sun will rise for me again
I want to fall asleep again so the pain will go away.
I don’t know what time its is still but now I want to know
How much longer till sunrises so I know when to put on my mask
That makes every one think I am fine, that I can make it.
The sorrow keeps growing making me lose he hope I have left.
Not knowing if I’ll ever see those eyes that say “I love you”
Not knowing if your hand will ever gently brush my hair of my face
Not knowing if I’ll ever be able to fall sound asleep with you
It is to late now for me to fall asleep again
As much as it hurts to think about our last days together
It’s all that comes to my mind, making me more melancholy
Even tho those were the best days of my life.
Why has my heart been filled up with sadness?
When did this become my new reality?
It scares me to not truly know what will be of us in the future
I hope to find out someday, but for now I have to keep on a smile
And try to make it real,
Because deep inside I know it’s a promise I made to you.
This is painful but you are worth that risk.