where am i?
watching from a sideline.
feeling, seeing, stuck inside.
surfaces feel harder
on your knees.
i have looked at you
and seen your true face.
my unrighteousness
lies in this disgrace.
pain.
it is numbing when alone.
and so all my pain i own.
it is not for them to see
all the failure deep in me.
i can rot on my own.
i judge.
in moments of...unease.
and take the things i know
and will not let them go.
in my judgement hall i stand
here i feel the weight of shame
as the voices call my name.
there's red carpet on the stone
and my feet sink as i walk
my mouth sewn so i don't talk.
for my words will disgust me
so i do not dare to speak
and it hurts, my knees are weak.
i kneel down onto the floor
and i keep with me my words
as i'm crushed beneath the weight
of a special kind of hate.
i will not direct it out.
i will keep it locked inside.
judge it all for it is mine
what i know they'll see in time.
if i'm wrong that shame is fine.
Apr 13, 2019
Apr 13, 2019 at 10:22 PM UTC
where am i?
watching from a sideline.
feeling, seeing, stuck inside.
surfaces feel harder
on your knees.
i have looked at you
and seen your true face.
my unrighteousness
lies in this disgrace.
pain.
it is numbing when alone.
and so all my pain i own.
it is not for them to see
all the failure deep in me.
i can rot on my own.
i judge.
in moments of...unease.
and take the things i know
and will not let them go.
in my judgement hall i stand
here i feel the weight of shame
as the voices call my name.
there's red carpet on the stone
and my feet sink as i walk
my mouth sewn so i don't talk.
for my words will disgust me
so i do not dare to speak
and it hurts, my knees are weak.
i kneel down onto the floor
and i keep with me my words
as i'm crushed beneath the weight
of a special kind of hate.
i will not direct it out.
i will keep it locked inside.
judge it all for it is mine
what i know they'll see in time.
if i'm wrong that shame is fine.
