i finalised my "divorce" today. well, it was a breakup. 2 years together, lived together, shared our cats, shared a life... all that. so yeah, it felt like a mini divorce.
and i couldn't help but notice how relatable the song "happiness" by taylor swift is now...
_"all the years i've given is just **** we're dividing up"_
he left the house a week ago. today he came by, and divided up our shared things.
_"tell me when did your winning smile_
_began to look like a smirk?_
_when did all our lessons start to look like weapons_
_pointed at my deepest hurt?"_
when i first met him, it was the stuff of fairytales - like most relationships. we shared some of the best memories of our lives together. but like all good things, it came to an end. over time, we became stressed with life's responsibilities. we became toxic to each other, and both made terrible mistakes. towards the end, it became the inevitable to end things.
_"after giving you the best i had_
_tell me what to give after that?"_
i gave it my all. we both tried our best. it just wasn't meant to be.
_"haunted by the look in my eyes_
_that would've loved you for a lifetime"_
how i wished he was the one... given any chance, i would've loved him for a lifetime. i miss him. i miss the life we shared. i grieve for the future we will never have.
_"i can't make it go away by making you a villian"_
but just because the relationship failed, it was still extraordinarily beautiful. i hold zero resentment towards him at all. no negative feelings. i wish him all the best in the future.
_"no one teaches you what to do_
_when a good man hurts you_
_and you know you hurt him too"_
these lyrics hit me the most...
_"there'll be happiness after you_
_but there was happiness because of you"_
goodbye, lover. maybe in another lifetime, our paths will cross again. but for now, i wish you all the happiness in the world. i will always have love for you deep in my heart.