Hello Poetry
Submit your work and get some sparkles! Create free account
jordan-p-sandersPoems
Letting Go My past is haunted with your memory, it quakes when I put myself out there to meet someone new, someone who I hope isn’t like you It’s not that you’re bad or inexcusably uncouth, it’s that you were everything I wanted until I learned the truth The truth is that I’ve lived in my imagination since I was small wishing for a girl to give my life meaning by loving the shy little boy too scared to share his feelings I envisioned a hippy girl with a penchant for reclusiveness, one whose wild spirit saved me from uselessness I was a wandering poet with no direction in life A floater in existence looking for his wife I wanted a soulmate to fill this empty void A romance whose purity couldn’t be destroyed I yearned for a damsel in a sunflower dress A girl’s whose energy shined like a crest She had to be beautiful, creative, and smart I wouldn’t settle for a girl with a cold hardened heart It seemed like a dream when we finally met A feeling washed over me I couldn’t forget You captured my heart in a lovers fever I promised myself I’d never deceive her Time progressed as a hurricane’s breath blew cyclonic winds into our nest, the tides of darkness began to infest a relationship built on childish dreams, fantasies like hypnotism that obfuscate passion with abusive screams Hear the rapping at the cellar door, it’s tapping morse code and forebodes the roads we have travelled will diverge, it says our shadow essence will emerge purified after we project the black inside on the light we aspire to contrive You see, I was a naïve boy with a heart of gold who risked it all in an act so bold that even God was flabbergasted, I pledged my allegiance to you in a moment of deep despair, when my soul was laid bare before the altar of grief, I cried in your car and felt total relief, then we made love in your backseat But now, I pledge allegiance only to myself, an undying reverence to my ability to cultivate internal beauty, sophistication, and wealth, to maintain my physical and mental health, to find love without destroying my identity, to live in the present without soulful indemnity, to share my heart with careful consideration, to not lose myself in aesthetic infatuation, to trust my gift of artful intuition, to trust my gut when it alerts my suspicion, to let go of a loyalty that was never earned, to let go of a woman whose bridge I’ve burned What I felt was not love but the heart’s pangs for attention, an ascension to being the most important person in the eyes of another, to be chosen as The One, as someone’s lover Everything I ever wanted, only it was the wrong person only I wasn’t ready for real commitment only I did it because I was lonely Give me peace or give me death       the brokenhearted alcoholic’s breath Fill my veins with renewed conviction       an IV of restored positive intention Take my hand at the dawn of the new moon       the man inside will be here soon Memories live in me as music Lyrics are the electricity in my brain Every word unlocks a door to self And now, now I’m dropping the drawbridge.
0
Oct 9, 2020
Oct 9, 2020 at 1:40 AM UTC
Letting Go
Letting Go My past is haunted with your memory, it quakes when I put myself out there to meet someone new, someone who I hope isn’t like you It’s not that you’re bad or inexcusably uncouth, it’s that you were everything I wanted until I learned the truth The truth is that I’ve lived in my imagination since I was small wishing for a girl to give my life meaning by loving the shy little boy too scared to share his feelings I envisioned a hippy girl with a penchant for reclusiveness, one whose wild spirit saved me from uselessness I was a wandering poet with no direction in life A floater in existence looking for his wife I wanted a soulmate to fill this empty void A romance whose purity couldn’t be destroyed I yearned for a damsel in a sunflower dress A girl’s whose energy shined like a crest She had to be beautiful, creative, and smart I wouldn’t settle for a girl with a cold hardened heart It seemed like a dream when we finally met A feeling washed over me I couldn’t forget You captured my heart in a lovers fever I promised myself I’d never deceive her Time progressed as a hurricane’s breath blew cyclonic winds into our nest, the tides of darkness began to infest a relationship built on childish dreams, fantasies like hypnotism that obfuscate passion with abusive screams Hear the rapping at the cellar door, it’s tapping morse code and forebodes the roads we have travelled will diverge, it says our shadow essence will emerge purified after we project the black inside on the light we aspire to contrive You see, I was a naïve boy with a heart of gold who risked it all in an act so bold that even God was flabbergasted, I pledged my allegiance to you in a moment of deep despair, when my soul was laid bare before the altar of grief, I cried in your car and felt total relief, then we made love in your backseat But now, I pledge allegiance only to myself, an undying reverence to my ability to cultivate internal beauty, sophistication, and wealth, to maintain my physical and mental health, to find love without destroying my identity, to live in the present without soulful indemnity, to share my heart with careful consideration, to not lose myself in aesthetic infatuation, to trust my gift of artful intuition, to trust my gut when it alerts my suspicion, to let go of a loyalty that was never earned, to let go of a woman whose bridge I’ve burned What I felt was not love but the heart’s pangs for attention, an ascension to being the most important person in the eyes of another, to be chosen as The One, as someone’s lover Everything I ever wanted, only it was the wrong person only I wasn’t ready for real commitment only I did it because I was lonely Give me peace or give me death       the brokenhearted alcoholic’s breath Fill my veins with renewed conviction       an IV of restored positive intention Take my hand at the dawn of the new moon       the man inside will be here soon Memories live in me as music Lyrics are the electricity in my brain Every word unlocks a door to self And now, now I’m dropping the drawbridge.
jordan-p-sanders
Written by
jordan-p-sanders
30/M/American
Oct 9, 2020
Oct 9, 2020 at 1:40 AM UTC
Request permission to use this poem