(inspired by Petersen Vargas’s “fourteen boys”)
1
here’s to the boy who
i unknowingly married
when i was a kindergartner
only for him to unknowingly divorce me
inside a moving train
thirteen years later
2
here’s to the boy whose
once-euphoric image
instantly floated away from me
as the heavy riffs
of an underrated rock band
ignited a crowd surf
that only moved from east to west
3
here’s to the boy who
had the courage to ask me why
i was good at spelling
but never had the guts to ask
me if I liked him back
4
here’s to the boy
whose memories never ceased to haunt me.
from the questions about cigarettes to the questions about bra sizes,
from the diary entries to serial poems,
from us not happening to us never happening.
5
here’s to the boy who
treated me as an eyepiece
when all i ever wanted
was to be
his favorite specimen
6
here’s to the boy who
i turned into a melancholic four-chord song
when he proved to me that
white roses and love letters
don’t work well as bribes
7
here’s to the boy
who decided to sum up
three years of
our one-sided,
on-off
relationship
by responding “when?”
the night
i finally had the sanity
to tell him,
“don’t cry. i loved you so much.”
8
here’s to the boy
whose hand i held
for it was about to
be sliced thin
by my razor-edged ribs
9
here’s to the boy who
i wish i met in another Earth
10
here’s to the boy who
hugged me
backstage
and threw tomatoes
at me
frontstage
11
here’s to the boy who
is two-dimensional,
but is a million times human
than the people i know
12
here’s to the boy who
plucked the right strings
when i began humming
an unfamiliar tune
13
here’s to the boy who
collects broken hearts
for his own pleasure,
but was very disappointed
when he wasn’t able to break mine
14
here’s to the boy who
left me alone on a boat
so he could swim his way
towards a luxury cruise ship
15
here’s to the boy who
knows too much
about me
but too little
about her
16
here’s to the boy
whose sighs inflated my lungs,
and who later on taught me how to build sandcastles
out of his cigarette ashes so he could eventually
blow them down with his exhales.
(not because he likes to destroy what i’ve built,
but because he always enjoyed
the sight of me basking
in the powdery white-gray ruins)
17
here’s to the boy who
convinced me why
i shouldn’t procreate
18
here’s to the boy
whose brain i wanted to unspool
so i could crochet a beanie
out of his to-die-for fibers
19
here’s to the boy
whose outward boffs
made me wish
he was my creator,
and whose own silence
drowned
out his pulse
last September
20
here’s to the boy
who made me wish
i had a **** bigger than his,
so i could show him more ways
to squander masculinity
21
here’s to the boy who
told all his stories to me,
and who hated math so much
but was better at it than me
22
here’s to the boy who
i broke off midsentence
when he thought Richard Linklater
was directing both of our lives
23
here’s to the boy
who lavished me with his
words and inspired me
to come up with
this spin-off
24
here’s to the boy who
was vindictive enough
he didn’t entertain the thought
of depriving me of a body
25
here’s to the boy who
thought he had a slot
on this poem
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 5, 2015 at 7:42 AM UTC
(inspired by Petersen Vargas’s “fourteen boys”)
1
here’s to the boy who
i unknowingly married
when i was a kindergartner
only for him to unknowingly divorce me
inside a moving train
thirteen years later
2
here’s to the boy whose
once-euphoric image
instantly floated away from me
as the heavy riffs
of an underrated rock band
ignited a crowd surf
that only moved from east to west
3
here’s to the boy who
had the courage to ask me why
i was good at spelling
but never had the guts to ask
me if I liked him back
4
here’s to the boy
whose memories never ceased to haunt me.
from the questions about cigarettes to the questions about bra sizes,
from the diary entries to serial poems,
from us not happening to us never happening.
5
here’s to the boy who
treated me as an eyepiece
when all i ever wanted
was to be
his favorite specimen
6
here’s to the boy who
i turned into a melancholic four-chord song
when he proved to me that
white roses and love letters
don’t work well as bribes
7
here’s to the boy
who decided to sum up
three years of
our one-sided,
on-off
relationship
by responding “when?”
the night
i finally had the sanity
to tell him,
“don’t cry. i loved you so much.”
8
here’s to the boy
whose hand i held
for it was about to
be sliced thin
by my razor-edged ribs
9
here’s to the boy who
i wish i met in another Earth
10
here’s to the boy who
hugged me
backstage
and threw tomatoes
at me
frontstage
11
here’s to the boy who
is two-dimensional,
but is a million times human
than the people i know
12
here’s to the boy who
plucked the right strings
when i began humming
an unfamiliar tune
13
here’s to the boy who
collects broken hearts
for his own pleasure,
but was very disappointed
when he wasn’t able to break mine
14
here’s to the boy who
left me alone on a boat
so he could swim his way
towards a luxury cruise ship
15
here’s to the boy who
knows too much
about me
but too little
about her
16
here’s to the boy
whose sighs inflated my lungs,
and who later on taught me how to build sandcastles
out of his cigarette ashes so he could eventually
blow them down with his exhales.
(not because he likes to destroy what i’ve built,
but because he always enjoyed
the sight of me basking
in the powdery white-gray ruins)
17
here’s to the boy who
convinced me why
i shouldn’t procreate
18
here’s to the boy
whose brain i wanted to unspool
so i could crochet a beanie
out of his to-die-for fibers
19
here’s to the boy
whose outward boffs
made me wish
he was my creator,
and whose own silence
drowned
out his pulse
last September
20
here’s to the boy
who made me wish
i had a **** bigger than his,
so i could show him more ways
to squander masculinity
21
here’s to the boy who
told all his stories to me,
and who hated math so much
but was better at it than me
22
here’s to the boy who
i broke off midsentence
when he thought Richard Linklater
was directing both of our lives
23
here’s to the boy
who lavished me with his
words and inspired me
to come up with
this spin-off
24
here’s to the boy who
was vindictive enough
he didn’t entertain the thought
of depriving me of a body
25
here’s to the boy who
thought he had a slot
on this poem
02/22/15
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