Crossing both fingers— hoping my luck
aligns with a healthy beginning; I should’ve
stopped leaning on lovers to fill me with meaning,
A cigarette kissed my middle finger— baby it’s
still stinging; now I flick curses with an itchy finger…
The Uno card I played yesterday wasn’t winning—
a wild-card start with no healthy beginning: the next
time I fall, take me as new, I’m just a beginner;
Pushing to the limit, limit pushing feelings —
“please, Lord”—I whisper, “I'm just a beginner;”
a sinner rehearsing the role of forgiving, convincing
myself I'm not a sinner; truth is, for me…
I need that healthy beginning.
Mar 22
Mar 22, 2026 at 6:26 AM UTC
Crossing both fingers— hoping my luck
aligns with a healthy beginning; I should’ve
stopped leaning on lovers to fill me with meaning,
A cigarette kissed my middle finger— baby it’s
still stinging; now I flick curses with an itchy finger…
The Uno card I played yesterday wasn’t winning—
a wild-card start with no healthy beginning: the next
time I fall, take me as new, I’m just a beginner;
Pushing to the limit, limit pushing feelings —
“please, Lord”—I whisper, “I'm just a beginner;”
a sinner rehearsing the role of forgiving, convincing
myself I'm not a sinner; truth is, for me…
I need that healthy beginning.
A reflective piece about craving a fresh start while being caught in old habits—wanting to begin again in love and in self, but realizing healing isn’t as simple as calling it a “new beginning.”
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