hi, i don’t know why im back here writing you, or perhaps i do.
i think about you + us often, i went to sf last week + had dinner with liza, she asked about you, she spoke of how engaged you were when you spent time with her + of how together we looked, how intertwined, how on our way to love.
i told her about your soft eyes + your demons.
you know, there was a time not so long ago i stood in front of a man + asked, ‘how small do you want me?’ after that, i swore i would never destroy or betray myself for anything or anyone ever again. i view that moment as one of my greatest sins in this life.
even still, i miss you.
i liked being your girl. i liked sleeping with you but even more so, i loved to wake up with you. i used to think i was dreaming when you’d wash the dishes singing old country songs after breakfast.
i wanted to tell the world about you + keep you a secret all at the same time. i would whisper your name into the wind.
i don’t know why things happen, i don’t know if there’s a reason for it.
i don’t know why hearts mend to break again or why you couldn’t be the man i deserved.
i don’t know why you couldn’t keep your promises or if you ever meant anything you said. i don’t know why i am here writing to you tonight.
but I do know that god has a plan + if the devil were ever to meet me, he’d kiss my eyes + repent.
i think our souls were forged in the same fire, i think if it's meant to be it will be. but mostly, i think i was falling in love with you.
and if it means anything at all - i think you’re the cruelest thing that has ever kissed me with open eyes.
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 11:02 AM UTC
hi, i don’t know why im back here writing you, or perhaps i do.
i think about you + us often, i went to sf last week + had dinner with liza, she asked about you, she spoke of how engaged you were when you spent time with her + of how together we looked, how intertwined, how on our way to love.
i told her about your soft eyes + your demons.
you know, there was a time not so long ago i stood in front of a man + asked, ‘how small do you want me?’ after that, i swore i would never destroy or betray myself for anything or anyone ever again. i view that moment as one of my greatest sins in this life.
even still, i miss you.
i liked being your girl. i liked sleeping with you but even more so, i loved to wake up with you. i used to think i was dreaming when you’d wash the dishes singing old country songs after breakfast.
i wanted to tell the world about you + keep you a secret all at the same time. i would whisper your name into the wind.
i don’t know why things happen, i don’t know if there’s a reason for it.
i don’t know why hearts mend to break again or why you couldn’t be the man i deserved.
i don’t know why you couldn’t keep your promises or if you ever meant anything you said. i don’t know why i am here writing to you tonight.
but I do know that god has a plan + if the devil were ever to meet me, he’d kiss my eyes + repent.
i think our souls were forged in the same fire, i think if it's meant to be it will be. but mostly, i think i was falling in love with you.
and if it means anything at all - i think you’re the cruelest thing that has ever kissed me with open eyes.
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