Friends?

miseryomy Poems

Its nearly 3 am yet again Up late lonely wondering about friends I look back on all the friends that come and go Than there's that rare few that remained for the show As time presses on suicides leaving me behind A couple left so distant "busy" sure that's fine Attempts to find new friends and again just used Money, greed, my time stolen just more abuse I fall back on the few true friends that remain And again just to busy, from them all its just the same Lonely, stressed, looking for that friend to talk to Unanswered texts for days, calls ignored from me to you Feelings darken, questions flood my mind Why I am no longer worth anyone's thoughts and time Checking back in to me seldomly here and there I really think but no longer feel you really care A self image in the mirror ugly, depressed, broken teeth Caring, loyal, honest, fun, loving, creative this is what lies beneath Hating myself, because I feel you in fact hate me Is this what is created after years of laughter and insanity I know you live a busy life, well so do I But a time in need is a time indeed, alone asking why I've poured all my emotions, strength, love and effort into you A slight fraction of that in return would be amazing and true Yet I struggle alone in the chaos and madness of life Sorting through the emotional pieces sorting wrongs from right Destined to be alone I regretfully and sadly realize I'm nothing special nor important just a lost memory in everyone minds I accept the failure, I accept this dreadful defeat Just know after this suicide you will never be able to call on me Cry tears of nothing and act like now you really did care But those little texts and smiles, those times you could have been there. Its to late now, no its not your fault it was a personal choice My life, my emotions, my body, my unheard voice Just please when I'm dead and gone dont act like you give a **** Because truly in the end it was you all I missed