The city comes alive at 5:45 A.M.
Outside, Los Angeles
Makes her morning cup of coffee,
While I sit here,
Feeling so useless.
In a dark and silent house,
I greet the glimmer of dawn
With a false forced grin
And my eyes sunken in.
There's a whole world out there.
So much to do.
So much to see.
Infinite possibilities of what could be.
With a whole world of wonder
Just outside that door,
Why do I find myself thinking of you
And that smile that you wear
So casually like a plain white tee
Yet as elegantly as an expensive gown?
An infinite number of steps
Await me beyond this porch,
But is it worth it without you?
Is it pathetic to say
That I find it hard to take the first step
For we no longer walk same path?
No matter how hard I try
To shake the thought of having you
Out of my head
And losing you before I could show you
Just how I really feel.
I find myself trapped in a house
With no walls and no doors.
Inside of my mind.
Inside of my head.
For a few days you made my fantasy
Something real.
I miss you, I hate you.
I miss what never was.