When I think about you leaving,
I have to stop my breathing
From stealing me away into waves of havoc ,
Awesome in their size taking me down
Beating me with panic, honestly
The experience is to traumatic,
So I leave the thought lurking
In the background of my anxieties.
Whispering silent pleas to a god
I don’t believe in, or who does not believe in me.
Scraping a sense of purpose from my tired
And ragged bit of existence expressing
My resistance in hushed goodbye wishes.
Hugs and kisses misted in years of tears
Drifting down pink cheeks, where red lips perched
And brow becomes furrowed ,
From the words I’ve borrowed,
And slipped from A mouth that’s
Clinched “ I miss you already, I’m about to slip.
I will never be ready. I’m going to be sick.”
I bite my tongue back and realize what I haven't said,
Just a broken track playing inside my head.
Nothing but a scared heart filled with dread.
And the guilt of all the things I’ve just said.