Was it cowardice?

molantwa-mmele Poems

I was once bullied, beaten Burned and buried With sneering slurs I was an introvert I gave them love My compassion I gave them all I had They took advantage of me And still I kept giving And they took everything And left me with nothing else to give But hatred I was afraid to say no I felt feeble to stand my grounds They made fun of me My ragged garbs And I could only watch them Having fun amusing each other Ripping my soul apart My heart full of scars Moaning in sorrow They made me hate school I was afraid to raise my hand And Ask when I did not understand Afraid to do presentations and orals And I failed…Morons I called them friends My Classmates Yet They filled me with vicious resentment Burning in my chest My eyes bleeding Vengeance My breath became a feral windstorm Terminating my feelings I saw nasty curs when I grimaced at them I tortured and killed insects Burning them alive because all I could see Were their evil faces And I was killing myself All along Along the road I forgave them And started to hate myself For being a victim of cowardice I have no one to blame But myself They did not chain my hands Or latched my mouth I was a coward I couldn’t man up and defend myself Or Maybe I wasn’t scared of them But I was scared to become one of those undisciplined Oaf minded juveniles You shouldn’t disguise your actual self To look better To conform with friends I am who I am Not who they want me to be I trashed myself more than they did And I have learned my lesson