It all comes out at night.
When I stop pretending I’m fine,
when the room is too quiet
and I can hear every time
I wasn’t chosen.
I replay everything.
The laughs that faded.
The plans made without me.
How easy it was
to replace my spot.
I keep it together all day
jokes, smiles, “it’s okay, really”
but at 2am my chest cracks open
and everything I swallowed
comes spilling out.
I wonder what I did wrong.
What they had that I didn’t.
Why I’m always close,
but never kept.
I loved too quietly.
Waited too patiently.
Made myself small enough
to be ignored.
And the worst part?
I’d still answer if you called.
Still show up.
Still choose you
even while everything I buried
slips out of me in the dark,
alone,
counting the hours
until I have to pretend again.
Feb 2
Feb 2, 2026 at 3:54 AM UTC
It all comes out at night.
When I stop pretending I’m fine,
when the room is too quiet
and I can hear every time
I wasn’t chosen.
I replay everything.
The laughs that faded.
The plans made without me.
How easy it was
to replace my spot.
I keep it together all day
jokes, smiles, “it’s okay, really”
but at 2am my chest cracks open
and everything I swallowed
comes spilling out.
I wonder what I did wrong.
What they had that I didn’t.
Why I’m always close,
but never kept.
I loved too quietly.
Waited too patiently.
Made myself small enough
to be ignored.
And the worst part?
I’d still answer if you called.
Still show up.
Still choose you
even while everything I buried
slips out of me in the dark,
alone,
counting the hours
until I have to pretend again.
ill wait
