Isn't it beautiful that children can admire what nobody else respects? It ***** that I’ve already forgotten how to do that. Obviously, growing up's about eradicating your naivety, but if I could only recall that optimism, it’d be easier to feel ******* righteous.
My imagination had promised me that no matter how unhappy or lonely I became as a result of my agency, it would be unconditionally fulfilling - That I'd enjoy a future of downright violent and abrasive experiences. Perhaps one day that wishful thinking will be cute, but right now it's absolutely embarrassing.
When I was a kid, I looked up to teenagers who were kinda failures, and I thought they were the **** Now I’m one of those, and I admire neither myself nor my illustrious peers, but if I still feel this way as an adult, I’ll be greatly disappointed in myself. Whether out of jealousy or pride, it’d be creepy to resent the youth.
I feel sick thinking about the future. It’s not due to wasted time. Honestly, sometimes I fear I’ve done too much. My main worry is that my thoughtlessness, rudeness, aimlessness, etc. traits that are already criticised, will be wholly inexcusable - That I may not receive understanding for mistakes.
Out of practicality, I’ll need to sweep feelings that I've barely even come to terms with yet under the rug. Sympathy has an expiration date when tragedy is abundant and time is scarce, which makes me wish I’d let myself be sensitive earlier instead of blatantly indifferent - I worry that I'll turn into a badly-adjusted adult, nursing adolescent pains.
Nov 18, 2025
Nov 18, 2025 at 12:45 AM UTC
Isn't it beautiful that children can admire what nobody else respects? It ***** that I’ve already forgotten how to do that. Obviously, growing up's about eradicating your naivety, but if I could only recall that optimism, it’d be easier to feel ******* righteous.
My imagination had promised me that no matter how unhappy or lonely I became as a result of my agency, it would be unconditionally fulfilling - That I'd enjoy a future of downright violent and abrasive experiences. Perhaps one day that wishful thinking will be cute, but right now it's absolutely embarrassing.
When I was a kid, I looked up to teenagers who were kinda failures, and I thought they were the **** Now I’m one of those, and I admire neither myself nor my illustrious peers, but if I still feel this way as an adult, I’ll be greatly disappointed in myself. Whether out of jealousy or pride, it’d be creepy to resent the youth.
I feel sick thinking about the future. It’s not due to wasted time. Honestly, sometimes I fear I’ve done too much. My main worry is that my thoughtlessness, rudeness, aimlessness, etc. traits that are already criticised, will be wholly inexcusable - That I may not receive understanding for mistakes.
Out of practicality, I’ll need to sweep feelings that I've barely even come to terms with yet under the rug. Sympathy has an expiration date when tragedy is abundant and time is scarce, which makes me wish I’d let myself be sensitive earlier instead of blatantly indifferent - I worry that I'll turn into a badly-adjusted adult, nursing adolescent pains.
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