I wrote something once / more than once, really, but this thing the first of its kind / something ugly and broken, like a bird / pushed off a cliff, never opening its wings in time / twitching, softly, sadly / a broken mess at the bottom of a tree/ it was called something nice/ needlessly verbose, uncomfortably poetic, but nice –
You spend a lot of time thinking your father is not god and you are not better for it / but it's not true, really / really / a man cannot be god / not this man –
I can describe him with a clinical detachment, if I must / if I should, I never know, not really / he’s short, for a man, only barely taller than me / long hair, black and grey / deep-set wrinkles / crowded teeth, big nose / eyes the same colour as mine / a man cannot be god if he lets time beat him down like this / like this, like all of us / its easier / man can be weapon if you let him / man cannot be father if you never let him get close enough to stab his way into you –
I go out with my father / a lot / I think he likes me, sometimes / if I should, I never know, not really / he looks like me, I think / I don’t know if I want him to and I don’t know if I don’t –
I spend a lot of time thinking my father likes me / it could be worse / it could be worse / it could be worse / repeat the mantra until it circles the drain and I’m left finished –
Theres that one poem / flipping a car with your dad in it and letting him touch you / for the first time / for a few seconds / and its not that but / its close enough / the acknowledgement that this feeling is poetic / the broken bird at the bottom of the tree, see how the flowers push through its corpse / there is life here / there is life / there is life / there is life –
This mantra will last, surely / there is life / a man is not a father if he is not a weapon, a little / anyone can hurt you if you let them / so really, really / why did I let him ? I’ll –
change my name but keep the initial always keep the initial because then I am still the same as him I am still of him and he knows i love him even if I will never tell him and I’ll –
dye my hair blue like his at sixteen and listen to him mock me and take it on the chin like a good kid like I’m supposed to and cut my hair like his or grow it out longer or I’ll –
and I’ll –
or I’ll –
listen to music he likes and tell him to listen to music but I’ll –
It's never enough, not really / not really / but there is still life here so just / just / keep on coming back to the dead bird
Oct 26, 2025
Oct 26, 2025 at 3:15 AM UTC
I wrote something once / more than once, really, but this thing the first of its kind / something ugly and broken, like a bird / pushed off a cliff, never opening its wings in time / twitching, softly, sadly / a broken mess at the bottom of a tree/ it was called something nice/ needlessly verbose, uncomfortably poetic, but nice –
You spend a lot of time thinking your father is not god and you are not better for it / but it's not true, really / really / a man cannot be god / not this man –
I can describe him with a clinical detachment, if I must / if I should, I never know, not really / he’s short, for a man, only barely taller than me / long hair, black and grey / deep-set wrinkles / crowded teeth, big nose / eyes the same colour as mine / a man cannot be god if he lets time beat him down like this / like this, like all of us / its easier / man can be weapon if you let him / man cannot be father if you never let him get close enough to stab his way into you –
I go out with my father / a lot / I think he likes me, sometimes / if I should, I never know, not really / he looks like me, I think / I don’t know if I want him to and I don’t know if I don’t –
I spend a lot of time thinking my father likes me / it could be worse / it could be worse / it could be worse / repeat the mantra until it circles the drain and I’m left finished –
Theres that one poem / flipping a car with your dad in it and letting him touch you / for the first time / for a few seconds / and its not that but / its close enough / the acknowledgement that this feeling is poetic / the broken bird at the bottom of the tree, see how the flowers push through its corpse / there is life here / there is life / there is life / there is life –
This mantra will last, surely / there is life / a man is not a father if he is not a weapon, a little / anyone can hurt you if you let them / so really, really / why did I let him ? I’ll –
change my name but keep the initial always keep the initial because then I am still the same as him I am still of him and he knows i love him even if I will never tell him and I’ll –
dye my hair blue like his at sixteen and listen to him mock me and take it on the chin like a good kid like I’m supposed to and cut my hair like his or grow it out longer or I’ll –
and I’ll –
or I’ll –
listen to music he likes and tell him to listen to music but I’ll –
It's never enough, not really / not really / but there is still life here so just / just / keep on coming back to the dead bird