Would you call it running away?
I feel like I’m being slowly
undone by my own head
a constant buzzing,
a weight I can’t switch off.
I walk around the house
like I’m half-present,
answering questions
I barely register,
my face stuck somewhere
between irritation
and confusion.
So I decide
fresh air might help.
Not exactly what I need—
just the only thing
I can afford.
Freedom.
That’s what I really want.
I call it freedom.
Some call it running away.
Maybe they’re right.
Because I want to leave,
not forever,
just long enough
to be alone.
To sit with my thoughts,
to breathe my own air,
not the one shared
and reshaped by everyone else.
But no—
I get an hour.
An hour in the library,
hidden between shelves
and the books I love,
before I’m called back home.
Maybe that hour
is what keeps me sane.
Because privacy
isn’t something
I’ve been given
in a long time.
I’m turning twenty next year,
and I still wonder
if I’ll still be here,
thinking like this,
feeling like this,
quietly wishing
for a little more space
to be my own.
May 1
May 1, 2026 at 4:22 PM UTC
Would you call it running away?
I feel like I’m being slowly
undone by my own head
a constant buzzing,
a weight I can’t switch off.
I walk around the house
like I’m half-present,
answering questions
I barely register,
my face stuck somewhere
between irritation
and confusion.
So I decide
fresh air might help.
Not exactly what I need—
just the only thing
I can afford.
Freedom.
That’s what I really want.
I call it freedom.
Some call it running away.
Maybe they’re right.
Because I want to leave,
not forever,
just long enough
to be alone.
To sit with my thoughts,
to breathe my own air,
not the one shared
and reshaped by everyone else.
But no—
I get an hour.
An hour in the library,
hidden between shelves
and the books I love,
before I’m called back home.
Maybe that hour
is what keeps me sane.
Because privacy
isn’t something
I’ve been given
in a long time.
I’m turning twenty next year,
and I still wonder
if I’ll still be here,
thinking like this,
feeling like this,
quietly wishing
for a little more space
to be my own.
