One day, you won’t merely see me.
You’ll recognize the work
I’ve done in the dark
to keep my heart a livable place.
Not pristine—
but open.
A room with chairs pulled close,
where truth is not asked
to make itself pleasant.
You’ll meet me not as something to possess,
but as someone shaped by practice—
by choosing, again and again,
to remain present where it would be easier
to disappear politely
the way we are taught to.
I learned early how to vanish
without leaving the room.
How neglect teaches a body
to grow quiet for survival.
Unlearning that took time.
It took devotion.
So when your attention comes,
it won’t arrive hungry or hurried.
It will arrive educated.
An attention that knows
love is not what we feel,
but what we do
within and without our power,
especially when it costs us something.
You won’t perform desire.
You’ll apply care.
Patiently, precisely—
as if love were an art of labor
that asks for skill, humility,
and the courage to be changed.
You’ll understand that intimacy
is not escape but responsibility.
That two people meeting equally
can become a small, necessary community.
That justice begins
in how we hold one another
when no one is watching.
And when I finally turn
toward the source of this steady regard,
this gaze that does not flinch
from growth or truth,
I will recognize the lineage.
bell.
I know you
by the way you stay.
Feb 1
Feb 1, 2026 at 11:38 PM UTC
One day, you won’t merely see me.
You’ll recognize the work
I’ve done in the dark
to keep my heart a livable place.
Not pristine—
but open.
A room with chairs pulled close,
where truth is not asked
to make itself pleasant.
You’ll meet me not as something to possess,
but as someone shaped by practice—
by choosing, again and again,
to remain present where it would be easier
to disappear politely
the way we are taught to.
I learned early how to vanish
without leaving the room.
How neglect teaches a body
to grow quiet for survival.
Unlearning that took time.
It took devotion.
So when your attention comes,
it won’t arrive hungry or hurried.
It will arrive educated.
An attention that knows
love is not what we feel,
but what we do
within and without our power,
especially when it costs us something.
You won’t perform desire.
You’ll apply care.
Patiently, precisely—
as if love were an art of labor
that asks for skill, humility,
and the courage to be changed.
You’ll understand that intimacy
is not escape but responsibility.
That two people meeting equally
can become a small, necessary community.
That justice begins
in how we hold one another
when no one is watching.
And when I finally turn
toward the source of this steady regard,
this gaze that does not flinch
from growth or truth,
I will recognize the lineage.
bell.
I know you
by the way you stay.
