What am I doing?
**** I don’t know.
I’m spinning around
and flailing about
just trying to get a grip on
the walls, on the floor, on anything.
And you keep asking me questions;
I can’t handle the questions;
please stop asking me questions.
My head hurts enough as it is.
I’m lying to you;
I’m lying next to you;
I’m lying upon you.
I’m just ******* lying
through my teeth.
And by the skin of my teeth
I’m getting by.
Everything is a blur;
I guess that happens when you spin
out of control.
You’re taking advantage of me.
I’m letting you take advantage of me.
I’m so confused and you know it.
But you want me.
And if I don’t know what I want
it’d might as well be you.
The condensation is building up;
we’re making it hot in here.
And all the while all I can think about
is how much I’ll regret this later.
It is later and
I regret it now.
You keep telling me
how much you’ve enjoyed yourself
and you’re asking me questions.
Please stop asking me questions;
I can’t handle the questions.
My mind is so fogged up right now
like the glass of the mirrors.
Stop writing your name in the vapor.
I don’t need such a permanent reminder,
something I can’t clean off,
of what I’m doing to myself.
At least eventually your kiss will fade away.