There we were,
a pair of inseparable
young souls,
blissfully skipping
through the tall
and viney garden
maze
Our hearts were
full of promise
back then,
and there existed
within us an
unwavering sense
of hope and loyalty
that begged for
forever
At least I did
I was your handicap,
a blind and ignorant
fool
who lacked direction
without hearing the
sound of your footsteps
beside me,
to give me security
and a crutch to fall
back on
Without your gentle hand
to guide me,
I knew I would potentially
crumble,
in my dreadful lack
of perception
And crumble I did
You led me to
the fountain
in the center of
the maze,
where my faith
in us still flourished
in its wishful state
You sung me to sleep
with your sweet lullaby,
a most peaceful slumber
if there ever was one,
and it let my dreams
give me one last
glimpse of limbotic
paradise,
before waking up
to a world
of sudden abandonment
As the clouds turned
to gray,
in a mass that covered
the once blissful
afternoon sun,
I let my hands take over
the role of my eyes,
patting the ground
in search of my
sighted companion
But I soon realized
you weren't there,
and I called your name
in isolated trepidation,
hoping to God
that you were still near
Your voice answered back
with a reassurance
meant to defuse,
telling me you were
only a few strides away
But there was an
absence of depth,
of concern
in your voice,
as you encouraged me
to step forward
with no arms to
catch me,
and no insight of
surrounding dangers
And as I stood up
and took each hesitant,
terrified step,
I could feel your
voice growing more
and more distant,
despite your insistent
promise that you'd
make your way back
to my side
Soon you were gone
completely,
and I could no longer
hear you
I was left there,
to my, all the more
weakened defenses
Left to wallow in
paranoia,
to recoil in deep-seated
anger
Asking to myself why,
why did this have
to happen?
How could you have been
so cowardly,
so as to not tell me
of your departure?
For you see,
there was no way it
could've been said
nicely
But the least you
could've done,
was simply to be kind
and save me from
the torment of deceit
Somewhere in the vastness
of the puzzling twists
and turns,
I made my way
to new territory
I cried out one last time,
knowing you wouldn't say
anything in return,
but holding out for the
unlikely chance of redemption
And when I heard a
voice not too far away,
one that wasn't yours
but one that gave me
enough of my hope back,
I started running
toward the sound
I stumbled
in the rush of
excitement,
from forgetting,
even just for
a moment,
my disadvantage,
my lack of a
fallback
Because I had
a sense of potential
that this voice,
right in front of me,
would be my new
source of solace
following the bitter
betrayal,
the pain I felt in your wake
I was ready for a new beginning
The stranger rushed over
and caught hold of
my arms
to halt the loss of
my balance
I heard their low,
comforting voice as I
crashed into their embrace,
telling me everything
was okay,
that I was safe now
And I wasn't sure if it
was the hope talking,
but somehow I knew that,
from that moment on,
the torture was over
They guided me over
to a nearby stump,
their sensitive hands
supporting me all the way,
their soft voice uttering
encouraging words
with every step forward
And all the while,
they never left my side
As I took my seat
in front of the campfire,
with their hands still
holding onto me
to ensure I didn't
stumble and fall,
they took the liberty
of offering me
something hot to drink
I graciously accepted,
overwhelmed by this
stranger's complete and
utter kindness,
and within half
a minute,
my shivering palms
welcomed a small
cup of fresh tea
I then felt the all-encompassing
warmth of a soft blanket
being placed around me,
as the stranger proceeded to
inquire about my injuries,
whether they were the
bruises from the numerous
falls, in my journey
through the confusing avenues
of the maze,
or the unseen scars
left on my heart
And as I rehashed all
the heartaches of the
tumultuous event,
taking a sip of tea
here and there
to calm my heightened nerves,
a single thought entered
my head,
and for the first time,
I came to recognize
the stranger
as none other
than my inner voice
And with that,
a sense of peace
began to flow over me,
and I no longer
held onto the desire,
to know why you left,
to be reassured
of a presence
outside of myself
to rely on, for all things
and blame for all misfortune
Because that presence
that I desired,
that promise of love and
belonging,
had been inside of me
all along
May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 2:33 AM UTC
There we were,
a pair of inseparable
young souls,
blissfully skipping
through the tall
and viney garden
maze
Our hearts were
full of promise
back then,
and there existed
within us an
unwavering sense
of hope and loyalty
that begged for
forever
At least I did
I was your handicap,
a blind and ignorant
fool
who lacked direction
without hearing the
sound of your footsteps
beside me,
to give me security
and a crutch to fall
back on
Without your gentle hand
to guide me,
I knew I would potentially
crumble,
in my dreadful lack
of perception
And crumble I did
You led me to
the fountain
in the center of
the maze,
where my faith
in us still flourished
in its wishful state
You sung me to sleep
with your sweet lullaby,
a most peaceful slumber
if there ever was one,
and it let my dreams
give me one last
glimpse of limbotic
paradise,
before waking up
to a world
of sudden abandonment
As the clouds turned
to gray,
in a mass that covered
the once blissful
afternoon sun,
I let my hands take over
the role of my eyes,
patting the ground
in search of my
sighted companion
But I soon realized
you weren't there,
and I called your name
in isolated trepidation,
hoping to God
that you were still near
Your voice answered back
with a reassurance
meant to defuse,
telling me you were
only a few strides away
But there was an
absence of depth,
of concern
in your voice,
as you encouraged me
to step forward
with no arms to
catch me,
and no insight of
surrounding dangers
And as I stood up
and took each hesitant,
terrified step,
I could feel your
voice growing more
and more distant,
despite your insistent
promise that you'd
make your way back
to my side
Soon you were gone
completely,
and I could no longer
hear you
I was left there,
to my, all the more
weakened defenses
Left to wallow in
paranoia,
to recoil in deep-seated
anger
Asking to myself why,
why did this have
to happen?
How could you have been
so cowardly,
so as to not tell me
of your departure?
For you see,
there was no way it
could've been said
nicely
But the least you
could've done,
was simply to be kind
and save me from
the torment of deceit
Somewhere in the vastness
of the puzzling twists
and turns,
I made my way
to new territory
I cried out one last time,
knowing you wouldn't say
anything in return,
but holding out for the
unlikely chance of redemption
And when I heard a
voice not too far away,
one that wasn't yours
but one that gave me
enough of my hope back,
I started running
toward the sound
I stumbled
in the rush of
excitement,
from forgetting,
even just for
a moment,
my disadvantage,
my lack of a
fallback
Because I had
a sense of potential
that this voice,
right in front of me,
would be my new
source of solace
following the bitter
betrayal,
the pain I felt in your wake
I was ready for a new beginning
The stranger rushed over
and caught hold of
my arms
to halt the loss of
my balance
I heard their low,
comforting voice as I
crashed into their embrace,
telling me everything
was okay,
that I was safe now
And I wasn't sure if it
was the hope talking,
but somehow I knew that,
from that moment on,
the torture was over
They guided me over
to a nearby stump,
their sensitive hands
supporting me all the way,
their soft voice uttering
encouraging words
with every step forward
And all the while,
they never left my side
As I took my seat
in front of the campfire,
with their hands still
holding onto me
to ensure I didn't
stumble and fall,
they took the liberty
of offering me
something hot to drink
I graciously accepted,
overwhelmed by this
stranger's complete and
utter kindness,
and within half
a minute,
my shivering palms
welcomed a small
cup of fresh tea
I then felt the all-encompassing
warmth of a soft blanket
being placed around me,
as the stranger proceeded to
inquire about my injuries,
whether they were the
bruises from the numerous
falls, in my journey
through the confusing avenues
of the maze,
or the unseen scars
left on my heart
And as I rehashed all
the heartaches of the
tumultuous event,
taking a sip of tea
here and there
to calm my heightened nerves,
a single thought entered
my head,
and for the first time,
I came to recognize
the stranger
as none other
than my inner voice
And with that,
a sense of peace
began to flow over me,
and I no longer
held onto the desire,
to know why you left,
to be reassured
of a presence
outside of myself
to rely on, for all things
and blame for all misfortune
Because that presence
that I desired,
that promise of love and
belonging,
had been inside of me
all along
This is a very long Epic Poem that I started working on at the end of October last year. I've put a lot of thought and emotion into this one, as it describes a very intense experience I went through in the past few years that significantly changed the way I look at my friendships, and the things I value within them. It has taken me a long time to get to the point of forgiveness and emotional healing, but now that I have, I feel much more like I will be able hold my own, without need for closure beyond what I can control, in a situation like this poem will describe (but hopefully to a much less severe degree). My hope in sharing this poem is that you can get some sort of positive message out of this, whether you identify with the speaker or with either of the two subjects, that will help you to gain more understanding and compassion for those who endure this kind of emotional turmoil. And of course, I sincerely hope that you enjoy it, despite its serious tone.
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