I really don't think you understand.
I’ve had to deal with everybody else’s **** and their problems have been piled up on me ever since I can remember.
And I thought I could take it. I really did.
But then everything started to collapse all at once. Everything started to cave in on me again and I felt like I was sprinting towards the last sliver of light in the sky when the earth gave out below my feet and I began to tumble for the millionth time through the never ending darkness.
I believed that maybe, if I tried, I could make it look like there was nothing wrong. Like I was okay.
And everybody bought it. Everybody believed me when I laughed at their jokes, or when I told them how great my life was, or when I said I was happy.
What a load of ******** that is.
I’ve never been happy. I’ve never been able to smile until my cheeks hurt or laugh until I’m crying. Because everything that was once happy and youthful about me has been destroyed by the demons this world hides in its shadows.
By the burdens of others.
I’m trying, okay? I’m really ******* trying to get you to understand me.
But it’s you that can’t open your heart long enough to get it.