"The Struggle for Love"
"The Longing for Home"
So desperate to prove
That our hearts aren't alone
While death looms wherewith
To make dust of our flesh
We seek in a myth
Our souls to enmesh
With a hero of hope
A rescuing source
To widen our scope
And give pith to our course
An unshakable tie
An attachment at core
Which might silence the cry
That our hearts are at war
With a pure set of eyes
Full of fire and proficient
To dispel all the lies
That our souls aren't deficient
But it's not our mere lack
Which causes most dread
It's the earth-shattering fact
That our spirits are dead
Cut off from their Source
In a black alienation
Humanity's curse
For its rank ins'bordination
We just want our own way
And to write our own story
So we plunge on astray
To seek our own glory
To play artist or muse
Or idol or chief
Any self-styled ruse
To assuage us of grief
Any measure to show
A lasting signif'cance
So that someone would know
Our unique magnif'cence
For our beauty's been marred
And we crave a redemption
Of souls twisted and scarred
By fulfillment's exemption
But, alas, we will find
That search hard as we may
There's not one of our kind
Who can carry the tray
Upon which the weight
Of our souls has been laid
For who can e'er tolerate
Its gross debts unpaid?
Such suff'cating mass
Of defects and ills
Pressed 'gainst delicate glass
Of egos and wills
Still more ghastly to bear
Is devotion unbound
For with millstone to wear
Its master is drowned
'Neath a sea of foul yeast
And becomes the enslaved
To a hungering beast
To a worship depraved
For the heart is a tiger
And must have its fill
So it raises a man higher
With a kiss before the ****
Not intentionally, of course,
Does it slaughter its idol
But of hurricane force
Is this longing so vital
And as pedestal turns
So quickly to altar
Our wounded pride burns
When our gods and alms falter
And the fire of its rage
Turns upon its obsession
Tiger breaks out of cage
To reclaim self-possession
It bites and it tears
What it once so adored
And pride no longer cares
If it kills its false lord
But upon such demise
The soul screams in terror
For it's broken its prize
And can't take back its error
It begs and it pleads
To restore what's been lost
But at end knows it needs
To consider the cost
Of the damage untold
It has left in the wake
For hearts can't be controlled
With a gush or a shake
No, men's hearts are like bombs
Which so easily explode
Once the pin is removed
All past wrongs will re-load
So the prey becomes hunter
When the tiger attacks
For he does not want her
To see what he lacks
As he, too, had put
Her up in wrong place
But now steps his foot
Upon her shamed face
To now pulverize
As his own heart's been crushed
To blind out her eyes
And to see her lips hushed
For with words idly spoken
She'd stabbed at his soul
And had left his pride broken
By her judgments so cold
She had not meant to harm
Knew not e'en that he heard
But one cannot disarm
A thought put to word
Worse than not knowing this
She no longer knew him
And her once imagined bliss
Proved a nullified whim
Oh, what games and delusions
We play and we build
Upon empty illusions
And dreams unfulfilled
Yet strangely it's when
Our worst fears come true
We can finally transcend
All those old tales we grew
Out of ego and void
Out of sorrow and pain
When our nerves felt annoyed
And our hearts felt too vain
'Cause when ego is puffed
It is primed, too, to pop
And with pinprick is snuffed
Like a pest-blighted crop
So imagine much more
When a venom's injected
Right into its core
And its heart is rejected
But can you also not see
How it needs such a burst
To begin to get free
From its self-absorbed curse?
Except now feels the matter
Of our soul's isolation
Fiercer still with the shatter
Of our pet consolation
So we wait and we wonder
If we've missed the true meaning
Of the frightening thunder
In our heart's constant screaming
Whether homesick or lost
Whether lonely or grieved
Locked in bleak Winter's frost
We find little reprieve
Yet we know we've been made
For the glory of Spring
Some card's still to be played
Some grand song still to sing
Inexpressible yearning
For some secret we know
But can't speak for the burning
Repercussions of woe
Not some mere melancholy
Nor nostalgic forlorn
Not the musings of folly
But a sense that we're torn
From primordial root
And from headwaters fresh
Yet much deeper to boot
From our spiritual breath
'Tis an ache not for wares,
Appreciation or fame
But a fight just for air
Against strangling shame
For we're naked, we know
And with all we devise
Our most flawed parts still show
To a pure set of eyes
Like we're walking around
With no covering intact
But thin hospital gown
With wide split up the back
So we hide our true face
Aim to be what we're not
Work our blots to erase
Lest our schemes should be caught
Be 't by friend or by foe
We dare not risk the pain
Of humiliation's blow
On top of our stain
But instead of relief
Anguish grows louder till
This life's loneliest grief
Paralyzes the will
And last hope all but dies
On doubt's bed of despair
While embittered heart cries
That its lot's too unfair
Yet on outside we play
Through our unconscious mind
Man's collective charade
That everything's fine
Like some pact we'd all sworn
To uphold and obey
To protect from the scorn
Of society's sway
If we run with the flow
'Stead of strive 'gainst the tide
We might make enough show
To salvage our pride
We forget that conceit
Is what caused all the mess
Through a serpent's deceit
And a couple's wrong guess
'Twas they first tasted shame
And then hid in a garden
Sewing fig leaves as claim
To secure their own pardon
Yet in horror they knew
They had squandered the Prize
And must flee from the view
Of a pure set of eyes
Now same state of awry
Runs through each of their seed
Inborn and borne by
Like the thorniest ****
Whose nettles pierce deep
And infect every part
While roots tangle and sweep
Through the mind and the heart
It mocks what we've lost
Torments every dim hope
To constrict and accost
Like a noose-tightening rope
Still, hope won't be decayed
Smold'ring fires yet burn
Sparking hints that we're made
For bright Eden's return
This redemption we crave
Is no phantom's false plea
But as crestfallen wave
Hides itself in the sea
It's been veiled in plain sight
Big as all of our stories
Deep as mankind's full plight
And as high as its glories
Cloaked in every ambition
That we have to get in
To some exclusive coalition
For its favors to win
Lurks a bleeding predilection
Frustrated from birth
A desire for election
To bestow on us worth
Lured by scent of a promise
To be chosen and known
Like the warmth of a mom's kiss
Given only to her own
We search tree after tree
For sweet intimacy's nectar
From a fruit that will be
Our secret connecter
To hope's nourishing breast
To life's honey from comb
To an undying rest
To a straight way toward home
One to wipe away tears
And allay deepest doubt
Which proceeds from worst fears
Of our being locked out
Of a garden again
Cast from pure tree of life
Dim remembrance of when
Mankind first entered strife
All our conflicts, comp'tition,
Confusion and blame
Find first cause in perdition
That's invaded our frame
Like the foulest disease
The most cankerous rot
Grown by monstrous degrees
Hatched by Lucifer's plot
This story's no prig's attack
Nor archaic folklore
But the earth-shattering fact
That our hearts are at war
With a pure set of eyes
Full of fire and proficient
To dispel all the lies
That our souls aren't deficient
And it's not our mere lack
which causes most dread
But the earth-shattering fact
That our spirits are dead
Cut off from their Source
In a black alienation
Humanity's curse
For it's rank ins'bordination
And yet...
This is also the story
Of how those same eyes
The Possessor of Glory
Looked with love and heart cries
On the crown of creation
His reflection of Self
Made His own treasured nation
The heirs of His wealth
Now broken and lost
All banished from Garden
And He knew the full cost
To grant them His pardon
Had known long before
He had e'er even made
That first man of yore
Yet handcrafts anyway
For His love is so strong
And He wanted to share
His intimacy with a throng
His own children to bear
So with souls in convulsion
From their rebellious misdeed
Just before their expulsion
He promised a Seed
One untainted from sin
Who could take its great boulder
And the weight of His kin
Upon His own shoulder
A Hero of hope
A rescuing Source
To widen our scope
And give pith to our course
An unshakable tie
An attachment at core
Who would silence the cry
That our hearts are at war
With a pure set of eyes
Full of fire and proficient
To dispel all the lies
That our souls aren't deficient
For those eyes are His own
And He'd pay the full fee
By His body alone
To set our hearts free
He's hope's nourishing breast
He's life's honey from comb
He's our undying rest
He's our straight way toward home
He will wipe away tears
And allay deepest doubt
Which proceeds from worst fears
Of our being locked out
Of the Garden again
Cast from pure Tree of Life
Dim remembrance of when
Mankind first entered strife
But 'twas on another tree
That sweet intimacy's nectar
Was secured tight when He
Became sacred Connector
And the thorns of our curse
Were pressed onto His head
With not one there to nurse
As the Son of Man bled
Then the wrath for our sin
Was absorbed as He cried
And the foul curse was broken
When the Son of God died
But death couldn't keep Him long
Nor His glory dispose
And we found our lost song
When the King of kings rose!
The debt had been paid
He had finished the work
The tide 'gainst us was swayed
We weren't left in our lurk
And we've only to now
Just repent and believe
To open and allow
Our hearts to receive
Our Divine Fountainhead
Our covering complete
To sup from His bread
And to sit at His feet
To worship the One
For Whom we were made
By Whom we've been won
Whom forever we've craved
The One Who can bear
Our hearts' full devotion
The One Who won't tear
At our souls' raw emotion
The One Who will be
Sweet eternity's song
Who with lasting decree
Will...right...every...wrong