I knew it would not last forever
But the future was unseen
Watched it slip out of our grasp
Before we could intervene
Season after season is passing
Golden transforms to white
Misty mornings exchanged for snow
While I wait to feel alright
Rose up through the ashes
But my heart's still burned and charred
And fear has formed an armor around
Every place it has been scarred
I search for symbols on my body
Yearn for meaning to be revealed
To understand length of our relationship
Yet answers all remain concealed
Shoulder the weight of rejection
Through time though tough to carry
Heaviness a consistent warning
That of intimacy to be wary
Like a little alarm silently blaring
Begging me to stay alone
Prioritizing safety over company
Love is hell unlike anything I've ever known
Portal straight to madness
No one is exempt
So if you want your sanity intact
Don't bother making an attempt
Desire turns willpower to vapor
As you steadily lose control
Until you cannot function in their absence
Need their affection to even feel whole
But when the flashes of electricity
Vanish from your partner's skin
But for you are stronger than ever
That's when the real torture begins
Color disappears from sight
The whole planet fading to grey
Happiness drained from all you touch
As you desperately clutch onto yesterday
Now waking up is a daunting task
Try to avoid facing reality
Solitude stings like a salted wound
Haunted by what we will never be
Then I stumble across your photo
For a moment don't feel so sad
As nostalgia rushes over me
I escape briefly into the love we once had
I close my eyes and block out the hurt
Memory tasting bittersweet
And when I finally open them
Feels like I'm falling to my feet
Desolation has become my home
Misery my only friend
I've learned the hard way caring is pain
So I swear I'll never care again
Sep 23, 2021
Sep 23, 2021 at 11:14 AM UTC
I knew it would not last forever
But the future was unseen
Watched it slip out of our grasp
Before we could intervene
Season after season is passing
Golden transforms to white
Misty mornings exchanged for snow
While I wait to feel alright
Rose up through the ashes
But my heart's still burned and charred
And fear has formed an armor around
Every place it has been scarred
I search for symbols on my body
Yearn for meaning to be revealed
To understand length of our relationship
Yet answers all remain concealed
Shoulder the weight of rejection
Through time though tough to carry
Heaviness a consistent warning
That of intimacy to be wary
Like a little alarm silently blaring
Begging me to stay alone
Prioritizing safety over company
Love is hell unlike anything I've ever known
Portal straight to madness
No one is exempt
So if you want your sanity intact
Don't bother making an attempt
Desire turns willpower to vapor
As you steadily lose control
Until you cannot function in their absence
Need their affection to even feel whole
But when the flashes of electricity
Vanish from your partner's skin
But for you are stronger than ever
That's when the real torture begins
Color disappears from sight
The whole planet fading to grey
Happiness drained from all you touch
As you desperately clutch onto yesterday
Now waking up is a daunting task
Try to avoid facing reality
Solitude stings like a salted wound
Haunted by what we will never be
Then I stumble across your photo
For a moment don't feel so sad
As nostalgia rushes over me
I escape briefly into the love we once had
I close my eyes and block out the hurt
Memory tasting bittersweet
And when I finally open them
Feels like I'm falling to my feet
Desolation has become my home
Misery my only friend
I've learned the hard way caring is pain
So I swear I'll never care again
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