Nusho,
You are with me, and I am with you all the time.
I wonder if I hear your silent screams sometimes,
as Im missing you permanently, and on this thick line of missing you, there are bumps, sudden and intense, and I wonder, is it you calling?. Do you hear me too, when my everyday reality crashes because my whole me is calling you, whole me is protesting against this distance which is about to get bigger and that monster continent is going to swallow you …. and life is whispering… “see? you are still loosing her….”
No, not loosing you ….. and you shush life!
We cant loose each other, we have the compass for the journey
So if you have bad day next time, it might be us in connection, and us calling each other, to be there, somewhere anywhere. Know that it is connecting us, because you call me and I call you…
aaaahaaa i could write all my outcries here now, as you wont see them
it will be hanging half way, never reaching you, like me myself
crying inside, I can feel it, my soul is crying
all these emotions
like a flame
in colours
in motion
in dance
for you
for you
burning, like today
burning up high
so high and fast
wanting to grab you and own you
yet restraining myself from doing so
because turning off the control tower….is dangerously dangerous
heartbeat in ultraviolet frequency
im in your tractor beam, body and soul, soul wanting yours, body wanting yours
what more is there for two beings
my outcries will be here
my thoughts will end up clogging this channel
my chaotic thoughts could be dumped right here
and teams will crush shortly
tabu thoughts
tabu pictures
tabu you
how is it to walk with you freely through streets, freely in the wide world
just live
and come back to you everyday
how is it to have that dream
to have you next to me everyday
see your eyes everyday
would we become ordinary to each other?
would we become weary of each other?
I find every day fascinating now,
there is something exciting every day
us is part of everyday
there is no day i would not think about us
or dream about us one way or the other
we had to meet
and i suspect my whole fascination about NZ since i can remember was not coincidence
we met, and collided
i need to stop
but where else do i outpour this waterfall
this high tide
this rock crashing waves of my soul
Today, your image is with me more vividly, because of yesterday
last night I got ambushed by panic
so strong and cruel, the thoughts found way into me
“she is leaving!!”
i had to fight so hard not to crumble like a cookie
Im gonna miss you Manognya
awefully and painfully
over and over again
and life is going to be as it was from 2020
skies darker
this city nothing but silhouettes
and you, somewhere on this planet, same time, different space
same planet though
at least
I had to die to see things from different angle
I was dead, it seemed
and when you reach out
it was like a miracle
like a mystery, reality and dream together
you reached out, and you always did
and from that point on
very slowly
something was changing
Im sitting here yet not here
Im eating, yet starwing
im talking, yet silent
im silent, yet screaming
where is some logic in this
If we could have one day in a year for us
far from everything else
just one day in a year
we would be together lets say 30 days (and nights^^)
thats not enough, however not bad either
comparing to zero
sigh
see I can outpour it here only
your eyes, deep dark eyes
which I see in dreams
could leak
so lets catch up one day in a year somewhere
my goodness
the day thirty, can you imagine?
wrinkly face, wrinkly *** yet looking in your eyes I would see you
the true you
I would not see anything else
just you and your cheeky look
when you start
u dont know I was commando yesterday
=================
Aug 16, 2024
Aug 16, 2024 at 4:21 PM UTC
Nusho,
You are with me, and I am with you all the time.
I wonder if I hear your silent screams sometimes,
as Im missing you permanently, and on this thick line of missing you, there are bumps, sudden and intense, and I wonder, is it you calling?. Do you hear me too, when my everyday reality crashes because my whole me is calling you, whole me is protesting against this distance which is about to get bigger and that monster continent is going to swallow you …. and life is whispering… “see? you are still loosing her….”
No, not loosing you ….. and you shush life!
We cant loose each other, we have the compass for the journey
So if you have bad day next time, it might be us in connection, and us calling each other, to be there, somewhere anywhere. Know that it is connecting us, because you call me and I call you…
aaaahaaa i could write all my outcries here now, as you wont see them
it will be hanging half way, never reaching you, like me myself
crying inside, I can feel it, my soul is crying
all these emotions
like a flame
in colours
in motion
in dance
for you
for you
burning, like today
burning up high
so high and fast
wanting to grab you and own you
yet restraining myself from doing so
because turning off the control tower….is dangerously dangerous
heartbeat in ultraviolet frequency
im in your tractor beam, body and soul, soul wanting yours, body wanting yours
what more is there for two beings
my outcries will be here
my thoughts will end up clogging this channel
my chaotic thoughts could be dumped right here
and teams will crush shortly
tabu thoughts
tabu pictures
tabu you
how is it to walk with you freely through streets, freely in the wide world
just live
and come back to you everyday
how is it to have that dream
to have you next to me everyday
see your eyes everyday
would we become ordinary to each other?
would we become weary of each other?
I find every day fascinating now,
there is something exciting every day
us is part of everyday
there is no day i would not think about us
or dream about us one way or the other
we had to meet
and i suspect my whole fascination about NZ since i can remember was not coincidence
we met, and collided
i need to stop
but where else do i outpour this waterfall
this high tide
this rock crashing waves of my soul
Today, your image is with me more vividly, because of yesterday
last night I got ambushed by panic
so strong and cruel, the thoughts found way into me
“she is leaving!!”
i had to fight so hard not to crumble like a cookie
Im gonna miss you Manognya
awefully and painfully
over and over again
and life is going to be as it was from 2020
skies darker
this city nothing but silhouettes
and you, somewhere on this planet, same time, different space
same planet though
at least
I had to die to see things from different angle
I was dead, it seemed
and when you reach out
it was like a miracle
like a mystery, reality and dream together
you reached out, and you always did
and from that point on
very slowly
something was changing
Im sitting here yet not here
Im eating, yet starwing
im talking, yet silent
im silent, yet screaming
where is some logic in this
If we could have one day in a year for us
far from everything else
just one day in a year
we would be together lets say 30 days (and nights^^)
thats not enough, however not bad either
comparing to zero
sigh
see I can outpour it here only
your eyes, deep dark eyes
which I see in dreams
could leak
so lets catch up one day in a year somewhere
my goodness
the day thirty, can you imagine?
wrinkly face, wrinkly *** yet looking in your eyes I would see you
the true you
I would not see anything else
just you and your cheeky look
when you start
u dont know I was commando yesterday
=================
