God I sound so stupid when I say this
but I love you so much I hate you
I hate how I waited and waited
thinking youd come running back to me
I hate that you weren't there when I tried to commit
and my ******* hallucinations were
I hate that they held my hands and it wasn't you
I loved you, I loved you so much
I made it so obvious
God why couldn't you open your eyes and see
see that I'd do anything for you
and put my soul into you
thinking maybe you'd like me too
I hate you
I hate you
why? why couldn't you see the tears in my eyes?
till I was gone?
why was lily holding me and not you
why was she brushing my hair back
and taking the pills away from me
and whispering that it was gonna be okay
and holding me in my sleep
do you even know how ****** up that sounds?
because you showed no care I was being ******* comforted
during and after my attempt with a god **** hallucination
do you know how ****** up you are?
God when you told me you were ****** up told you that you weren't
but looking at you now, you really are ****** up
****** up for messing with my feelings
a part of me wants to hate you so much
but I still love you
at the end of the day you'll still be the only one I talked to
and if your not there lily will be
shell be there when you dissapear I suppose
to hold me and love me when you couldnt
because oh God you are as ****** up as you say
and I hate you
Mar 20
Mar 20, 2026 at 11:15 AM UTC
God I sound so stupid when I say this
but I love you so much I hate you
I hate how I waited and waited
thinking youd come running back to me
I hate that you weren't there when I tried to commit
and my ******* hallucinations were
I hate that they held my hands and it wasn't you
I loved you, I loved you so much
I made it so obvious
God why couldn't you open your eyes and see
see that I'd do anything for you
and put my soul into you
thinking maybe you'd like me too
I hate you
I hate you
why? why couldn't you see the tears in my eyes?
till I was gone?
why was lily holding me and not you
why was she brushing my hair back
and taking the pills away from me
and whispering that it was gonna be okay
and holding me in my sleep
do you even know how ****** up that sounds?
because you showed no care I was being ******* comforted
during and after my attempt with a god **** hallucination
do you know how ****** up you are?
God when you told me you were ****** up told you that you weren't
but looking at you now, you really are ****** up
****** up for messing with my feelings
a part of me wants to hate you so much
but I still love you
at the end of the day you'll still be the only one I talked to
and if your not there lily will be
shell be there when you dissapear I suppose
to hold me and love me when you couldnt
because oh God you are as ****** up as you say
and I hate you
this is for... people in the world...who know me ig...or I thought knew me... uhm <3
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